30 December 2011

Of Those I Admire...

My life may be less glamorous,
but no less lovely.

My talents less obvious,
but no less useful.

My life situation less immediately desirable,
but no less adventurous, or certain.

I may be less witty and humurous,
but I'm no less funny  
(at least to my husband).

I am karlie jean donovan lewis,
and my life may be less,
but it is no less.

I might be doing that cliche kissy face, but it is only with half of my mouth.
So it doesn't count.

23 December 2011

I ran out of stamps

Merry Christmas!!
(click it to see us in our full shameless glee)
We hope you are as excited and giddy with happiness as we are!

21 December 2011


I am going to have to start some weekly blogging tradition to tell you what I hear come out of the mouths of these students as they walk to and from class.  But this is what hit my funny fancy for today...

Dude! Did you know that Asian Gifts sells brass knuckles!?

I certainly do now. Thank you 16 year old boy in severe need of a haircut and a good day of hard labor.

13 December 2011

I probably didn't really....

call one of my students chubby....oops.  He asked me if something I said to him was a fat joke.  I said yes.  He didn't think it was very funny.

told one of my students I made him do something because he was Mexican....he laughed. Phew.

left my phone ringer on....every other day...embarrassing.  My class is now very familiar with the Dr. Who theme song.

leaned back too far in my office chair and made a high decibel clatter keeping myself from plummeting backward to the floor..... during silent reading time.  No one was hurt.

*Clarification. I am not racist. I know many Mexican's that I think very highly of.   Again, I asked him to stop a behavior, and he jokingly asked if I was calling him out because he was Mexican. I said yes.

01 December 2011

Chubby Secrets #1

So, I'm getting chubby. Marriage + Stress does that. And lately, It hasn't really bothered me that much.

I've been too busy and stressed out to do much about it. I'll get to it when my life settles down, and I am used to my new routine.

(You fitness fanatics who are reading this, stop scolding me with your minds this instant. I really can't handle one more thing. Its either sleep or work out.)

But, my pants are getting tighter, and they put pressure on my stress-nauseated tummy, so...

I wear big shirts, and live with my pants unbuttoned.

Do you have any idea how free of a feeling it is to not button your pants? Amazing.

30 November 2011

At a time that is not this time

people will be good to each other, no matter their differences.

I just watched this video , and was amazed by the different cultures coming together, sharing their differences in a positive way, and focusing on something they have in common.

Why are people in the world so incredibly intolerant? Why is it so easy to recite the golden rule, but so seemingly impossible to actually live that way?

Personally, I think we should just love people because they are people.

I am not saying we should be blind to poor decisions or anything like that, but can't we even love people who make poor decisions? Can't we love people who believe something different than we do? Can't we love people who look different? 

There is so much animosity in society that it makes me want to hole myself up in a mountain cave, and befriend only the mountain animals. Especially the ones that won't eat me.

16 November 2011

On Maturing

It is 100% over-rated.

I don't mean that we should all act like we are 13 years old again. I don't want to worry about boobs, braces, boys, or bratty friends.

I am glad I know how makeup should be applied, that Payless shoes are just as cool as the name brand, and that I don't have to check in with my parents when I get home late at night.

I simply mean that we should never get to the point where we take ourselves too seriously. 

Laugh at yourself. Dang it.

Befriend a teenager enough to remember what it was like to be one.  Listen to some old school Brittney Spears or Spice girls, and see if those old feelings and dance moves come rushing back again.


Pay your bills. Be good to your children.  Love your other half.  Don't get traffic tickets....and laugh when you forget.

13 November 2011

Holga Attempt #2: Malad

 Samson, the puppy
 The Clouds
 Bow Hunting Skills
 Bowl of Fruit
 Waving Flag
 Peter Pan Bleach Shirt. I made it.
Cool Rusty Chair

26 October 2011


My lips were unfaithful to husband's today.

They couldn't help it. They were put into a dire situation.

When I hopped into the car of my carpool buddy this morning at 6:45 my lips were parched.

At 6:46 I realized I didn't have any chapstick, or lotion, or anything that could soothe them.

I felt them shrivel further at 7:00, 7:10, 7:20.....

(at 10:45 I cursed the fact that I was wearing my demon shoes as I almost took another tumble)

and every ten minutes for the remainder of the eight hour work day.

By the time I left the school at 3:30 it was a miracle I wasn't completely lip-less after all of the dryness and shriveling they had experienced throughout the day. 

They were desparate.

When I got home......to my shame....

they made-out with the Carmex tube

22 October 2011

Pepper chunks

...from that heavily peppered elk jerky are stuck between my top molars.

husband is off paint-balling in Mesquite with a bunch of grown men who insist on continuing to play their prepubescent games. 

I have vanquished (thank you Charmed for placing that work into my often-used vocab) at least 10 bugs in my room today.  They are everywhere.

That heavy-duty sticky stuff does not work. Stuff keeps nearly falling on my head at night.

I go into the classroom on Monday, and I only have two lessons planned....oops.

I smell. I haven't showered. I haven't brushed my teeth (should I admit that part? Its super gross) 

I have had a wonderful day! 
I rode my bike for 5 beautiful miles.
I got into a battle of whits with my younger brother, and totally lost. I was laughing so hard. 
Ate a chocolate chip cookie (yes. yes it is ALWAYS going to include food.)

I got this new space!  
It is my grandfather's old desk, and the smell of the drawers remind me of playing in his office as a little girl.  
He left us still a young man of 65.  He's been gone for a while, and I sure miss him.  
Isn't it beautiful!?

21 October 2011

ness of happy

There is an ice cream bucket full of fresh salsa waiting to be consumed by myself.

 Husband is no longer sick. I have never seen such ruby red vomit in my life.

There is a pumpkin on the front porch that is just waiting to be carved by these artistic (i try) hands.

There are pumpkin seeds over there in a bowl that were a reward for having chaperoned a delinquent date. They are roasted. And delicious.

 After 7 weeks of student teaching for a virtual academy, I am actually getting into a classroom on Monday! I am excited and terrified. excified. territed, if you will.

14 October 2011

I love them

Look at my family

Aren't they so good looking?! And fun?! And WONDERFUL!!!
cough. Sorry. Bragging terminated.
It is an interesting phenomenon to be dwarfed by your 14 year old brother.
Especially when he has a flowy mullet. Sick.
But Seriously.

11 October 2011

The Way

Yea, How long will ye suffer
yourselves to be led by foolish and 
blind guides? Yea, how long will
ye choose darkness rather than light?

Sometimes I look at what is happening in the world,
and I feel hopeless.

Then, I make myself step back
and look at the wonders God has placed on this earth
and remember that Jesus Christ 
Has made the path known.

And then I hope again.

05 October 2011

That List

A while back, while recovering from the loss of the 9th Doctor, I wrote and mentioned "The List".

I wrote that I might write about it sometime, and I think that time is overdue. 

Disclaimer: "The List" is constantly in flux, and is mostly full of men who don't actually exist.

These are the men about whom I might express my feelings as Ashley once did about Kevin Bacon.

And I quote, "If Kevin Bacon were to walk in here right now and say, 'Hey, lets make out,' I'd do it."

We say this being fairly, and mostly positive that we would not actually make out with them (we really do adore our husbands), but would just stare, and stammer, and maybe steal a photograph with their arm around our shoulders, and our thumbs very high in the air.

Without further ado:

The List
As Presently Constituted

4th Runner up: Mr. Knightly played by Jeremy Northam
He may be replaced by Mr. Rochester played by Michael Fassbender quite soon.

 So handsome, and such the gentleman.  
Seriously, have you seen how tender he his? 

3rd Runner Up: The Doctor played by David Tennant

First of all, he has KILLER hair. It gets me every time.
And also, he just looks so good in that suit with his Chucks.
And he saves the world practically ever day.
The accent has never hurt him either....

2nd Runner Up (today, tomorrow David might be 2nd again) Leo Wyatt played by Brian Krause

 No, Leo is not a cowboy, but.... I like cowboys. Also, I do not support smoking. Not attractive.

 Leo is a character from the show "Charmed"
You should know by now that all of my internal organs are made of nerd.
Anyway, Leo fixes things, has great hair, wears sweaters, 
and his smile...KILLS ME.
I couldn't find a picture that would convey its swoony-ness to you.

The #1 Slot holder is (and has been for some time now):  James Bond played by Daniel Craig

Cowboys. Right?

  He has come the closest to making me crush on the man rather than the character.
I know it is about 80% the eyes, 15% the attitude and poise,
and I know you don't believe when I say 5% speedo bod.
Showing off that much of his body while splashing in the waves of the ocean is cheating, 
most people look, if not more attractive, at least more exotic when wet.

And as pretty as they all are, none of them compare to husband.
He is real. He gives kisses. Good ones.

01 October 2011

I woke up

on this beautiful conference Saturday

to this face.


I am so lucky. He is so handsome. It makes me giggle to myself sometimes.

I mean, he took off the bow-tie and jacket before crawling in bed last night, and may have a slightly peeling sunburn on his face, but who cares!

I also get to sit next to him for the next two days and listen to the Lords servants update us on the Big Man's plans. You can watch it or read about it here.

I get to hold his hand, and hug him, and kiss him on the mouth. Sigh.

I'm done being grossy mushy now.

But just know, that I hope you have one, or get one like mine, and mine, and mine.

28 September 2011

I could take him...

This young man....

will be home from his deployment in Afghanistan in just a couple of weeks. He is almost back to a base in the states.

I will be so glad to have him back.


Don't let this innocent looking, lion loving, photograph deceive you.  He is a menace to my life.

If you have a brother-in-law that is close enough to your own age to be a twin that needed some extra time in the oven...you know.

Mostly, he just needs to see what will happen next time he shoves a carefully ketchup dipped corn dog up my nose....

20 September 2011

A Draft

This is a draft I wrote as an example for some of my 10th graders that are working on their own autobiographical incidents.  More of myself ended up in it than I intended.  All of a sudden it became  a draft of my progress toward being what my husband deserves, and what a person is meant to be in a relationship.

Forgive my lack of skill in writing. After all, this is my first draft of this piece, and at being married, and at life, and we all know that first drafts always need revision and care.

The breeze created by my own movement fingered through my boyishly short hair. The perfect summer evening temperature slammed into my body as I pedaled in an effort to pummel into as much of it as possible.  Why had I ever gone a moment without owning a bicycle? This rolling momentum that is so much more smooth and rapid than walking was something I hadn’t experience since I was a child.
            I smiled widely to myself at the glimpse of my last memory on a bicycle.  I had probably been about ten, and in an attempt to impress myself and some of the neighbor kids, I tried to pop a wheelie. The bolt on my front wheel had become loose, and as I lifted it off the ground it slid away from the bike frame and rolled right away. I crashed. I was embarrassed. Ouch on my body and my ego. That must be why I stayed away from this marvelous modem of transportation for so long.  Now that I had decided to take it up again, it was definitely was worth the risk.  The neighbor kids were grown up and gone away.  I no longer felt the need to impress. 

            I rode between the church and the old Masons’ Temple. The duskiness of the outside light, and the oldness of the streets and buildings as they whisked by at a medium speed, left streaks of themselves in my mind, and made me laugh out loud with a child-like happiness. I began to reflect on why I had not felt this happiness all day. It was my birthday after all, and who doesn’t deserve to be gleefully happy on their birthday?  Only bad guys, and I was decidedly not one of those. 

            I thought back to walking out of my little home that morning and seeing the beautiful minty-green and white beach cruiser parked in front of my door.  I had gone to bed upset, and I woken up upset, and I didn’t want to go back in and thank him. But I did because that would have been heartlessly rude.  But I stayed upset.

            He tried to take me on a birthday date, and I said, “No. We don’t have money”.     As he protested that we would manage, and he would find a job soon, I said, “I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to not really work at finding a job, and definitely before you decided to spend money on video games”. That was all. Then I turned back to the sink full of dishes and put my pouty face on. He kissed me on my forehead, said Happy Birthday, and walked away.

            I hadn’t thought about the fact that he hadn’t bought anything for himself in some time.  Not about the fact that he has only played video games perhaps 10 times in the few years we've been together. I hadn’t thought about the fact that he was as stressed as I was. I hadn’t thought about the fact that looking for a job in a small town only provides so many options, and he was doing what he knew to do.  I didn’t let him take me out.

            Now it was a few hours later, and I was finally getting my first ride on this thoughtful and beautiful gift he had given me.  I rounded the block by the house and immediately felt ashamed that I had behaved as I did.  He had given me a gift that helped me drive my stress from my mind, and made me feel like a kid again, and I had given him some snappy words and a bad attitude.  He had still been so loving. 

            I made a final loop and let the hands of that breeze pass over the surface of my face one more time.  The light of the sun going down over the swampy horizon shot out brilliant shafts of orange, pink, and purple.  I pedaled that brand-new contraption back into the carport, crossed the front yard, and went to find my husband for a big fat kiss.

08 September 2011

Things I wish I was half of: A List

Elvish: I don't want to be full Elf, because who really wants to live forever.  I just want to look super young always. Also, their ears are the greatest.

Antelope: I don't think I've ever posted about my inability to run, let alone do it in a graceful fashion.

Narnian:  Don't you wish you know what that horse was saying right before you got booted off?

Genius: Not full, because sometimes a lot they turn out awkardish.  I only want to be award enough to keep superficial people away.

Horse: Because centaurs are cool.

Actress: Then I could be in Dr. Who and pretend it is super real without getting all caught up in that yucky fame nonsense. Also, I nominate myself for leading lady in the next (G-rated) James Bond movie)

Mad: You see so many things you wouldn't see otherwise

05 September 2011

We should have washed his basketball shorts


That was the mosquito. In my face.  In the dark.

Wife: We're probably going to get bitten in the face ALL NIGHT.

Husband: I HATE these stupid bugs.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzz. buzzzz.  buzzzzzzzzz.

Husband: AAAAAARGH!!!

Wife's face gets whipped by the corner of a lava-lava leaping out of bed.

Lights flash. Chord whipped out. Connections connected.


Also results:

Wife's incessant "drunken with sleep" giggling.

Dead bugs.

Gained knowledge that said lava-lava gives husband a nice contour of the buttock.  Wife did not think this was possible.  She is pleased.

26 August 2011

A (almost) direct (practically) unedtied journal exerpt

Friday was a last day in a very comfortable place in my life.  It was my last day working at the USU Bookstore.  I was fine most of the day.  Most of the day passed as a normal day, and then at about 4:30, when I started going through all of the steps for the last time, as I hurried around doing last minute errands, my throat got real tight.  Then I started thinking about Hannah and Ash, who have been two people huge to my life, and the tight throat problem started to make my eyes watery.  Stuart got me my very own bag of chocolate animal crackers, and that just about started  a water works on its own.

I am not going to miss that [bad word] job, but I am going to sorely miss the people.

And...I already miss the time in my life that job represents to me.  Prism, ratex. Book-it, FedEx, telephone headsets, announcements, dumb customers, [specific dumb customer], Drake, sicky break room, headless mannequins...these things represent the free, single, college life that I so thoroughly enjoyed.  All of the aspects of that life started to slowly change one by one, but that bookstore was ever painfully the same.

Now that is gone, and I realize that my life has completely shifted positions, kind of like plate tectonics, minus the earthquakes, without me taking notice.

Touche life.  Duly noted.

13 August 2011

Bedtime Conversations: Part 3

Ches: Will you rub my back? I have a weird knot in the middle by my spine that doesn't feel too good.

Me: Yeah come here.  What'd you do?

Ches: I think I slept funny.

Me: Well, you should try sleeping serious.

Ches: Um....

Me: Well, at least I think I'm funny.....

10 August 2011

I, am the sin child of anomaly and oxymoron

My name may as well be Oxyano, or malymoron, or neither of those. Those are bad names.

I love to write, but have a hard time finding words.  They hide from me.  In meanly difficult places to find.  The pages stay blank.

I wish to never grow up and be responsible, yet I keep willingly increasing my speed toward grown up things like a career, and paying loans, and having babies (not an announcement), and buying that perfect house that will accommodate all of my interior design plans that I've found on pinterest.

I currently work at a job where I sit, and sit and sitsitsitsit.  There is very little physical or mental exertion required of me, yet when I get home at the end of the day I am just too tired to cook or exercise, or journal, or blog, or do that list of things that has been undone for a month.   Doing nothing all day is H-A-R-D.

When my hair is long I want it short, when my hair is short I want it long.  At least I am a normal woman in that regard.

I secretly long to be recognized for my vocal skills, but refuse almost every offer or opportunity to showcase myself.  They might not think I am as good as I think I am. Maybe that agent looking for the next best artist will desperately need to use the bathroom while driving through Corinne, Ut, happen upon my parents house because they always go off the main road looking for bathrooms in residential areas, come at 6:30 in the morning when I have my daily concert for the shower head and hundreds of empty shampoo bottles (who doesn't have to pee in the morning right?), place their ear to the door and find me.  I'm crossing my fingers.

I will enlighten you of the other traits my dear mum, maly and dad, moron have given me as I trip over them as I walk over that completely flat surface.