29 November 2008

Ultimate quote of the Day

Karlie: "There are PLENTY of red balls...."
weird silence as little brothers continue to put tinsel on the tree
Shane: "That sounds funny....ornaments. Red ORNAMENTS..."

23 November 2008

A date with the stuff that comes out of the end......

Below is told a very sad story....except its not so much sad as it is HILARIOUS! You should all probably wish that this would happen to you....(Dialogue is not exact. I dont have THAT good of a memory)

Once upon a time there was a very nice boy named Jon. The very nice boy named Jon asked a girl named Karlie Jean out on a date. "What shall we do for our date?" she asked. "Well I heard you like swinging," he replied, "Why don't we do that?" And so they did. When they got to the park they swang and they talked,but they soon realized a person can only swing for so long before it loses it's thrill, so they decided to go play on the playground. While they were jumping and frolicking on the playground equipment all of a sudden Jon says, "You know what I've never done?" "What?" asks Karlie with great curiosity. "I have never gone down a slide at night time before!" "Well," replied Karlie," Today is your lucky day because you have several here to choose from" So he chose the tube slide and away they went. Well Jon went down first, and Karlie Jean followed after him. When she reached about half way down she noticed a dark streak of something in the middle of the slide. She thought it was mud so she avoided it as best she could. When they reached the bottom of the slide she felt Jon should know about the dark streak, so she non-chalantly said, "Jon, you might want to check the back of your pants. I noticed something in the slide when we were on our way down." He gave her a curious look and then reached his hand back behind him. What he found there would scar both of them forever.
"There is something there. It's squishy" He pulled his hand forward to examine what residue had been placed there from off of his now soiled behind. He just stared at it for a moment. Then he slowly lifted his hand to his nose and took a slight whiff. And then he said words that changed our lives...okay maybe just our night...forever. "It's poop. And it doesn't smell like animal poop." There was human poop smeared all down the back of his leg. Now, as the narrator of this tale I failed to mention that Jon was a recently returned missionary, and had not yet quite adjusted fully to dating life. He simply stood there with a mortified look on his face. Karlie Jean could not help herself. She was overtaken with laughter. She was so overtaken with laughter that she was pretty much rolling on the ground because of it. They used the flash of the camera of the other couple that was with them (good old Mark Sam and Jenelyn) to find out all of the damage that was really done. Luckily the damage to Karlie's pants were minimal, and she had managed not to get any on her jacket. They sat on an old jumpsuit on the way home, and had the windows all the way down. It was freezing. Poor Jon washed his hands about six times and couldn't get rid of the smell. So, he sprayed some cologne on his hand and they went out for Asian slushies.
The date was deemed a once in a lifetime success!

22 November 2008

Frozen Orange Juice

You know how everyone has some really weird thing that they do? ( don't try to convince yourself that you don't have one. I know you either do a ritual dance in your underwear right before you go to bed every night, or make "come hither" faces at yourself as a rule every time you look in a mirror). Well among other things that I won't divulge here, one of my weird habits, is to eat frozen orange juice. I buy those gallons of "real orange juice", the really cheap ones, then I pour a glass, stick it in the freezer for approximately 3 hours, and then I delight in its taste and texture as I spoon it into my mouth. I don't know why, but for some reason it's texture is amazing to me. Some people might claim that texture has nothing to do with enjoyment of food, but that is FALSE. Of the many things I inherited from my father, one of them is a complete intolerance for inappropriate textures attached to what I put in my mouth. I also attribute my good health so far this fall to the high amounts of Vitamin C I have taken in through this frozen goodness. Another amazing thing about it is it's ability to make me feel like I am getting a treat/dessert, when in all reality I'm not. It feels like a treat because #1 It is frozen when you eat it, and pretty much only treats do that, and #2 is simple. Like I said before, it is simply delightful.
So, if any of you would like to somehow get the satisfaction of a delicious treat, without actually eating one, try the wonderful world of frozen orange juice!

21 November 2008

Hmm....a blog? Yes a blog.

So. I recently found out something rather alarming. I am out of touch. With what you ask? Why! With the world of course! I am so out of touch with happenings that I have not yet acquired a blog. Well...I have now, but I hadn't...but now I have...
I have been told this is a fact that should put me to shame. Consider my wrists slapped and my tongue peppered. I am now repenting. My hope is that I'll post something once a weekish. As of now these posts will be primarily for myself, since no one else I know knows about it yet....We'll change that with time. Now I'm rambling. Blast. So I hope this blog can be of some interest to someone...Hannah, that means you since you put me up to this madness.... TTFN!