19 August 2012

Personalities X A Big Number

I know I have written a few times about Husband's Entertainment Habits. Here too.

I was browsing my cell phone pictures the other day.

As I got farther into the archives of my phone, a realization settled in on me.

I am quite certain husband has Multiple Personality Disorder.

These personalities sneakily take over him at the most unexpected times.

Caption precedes the picture.

Let me introduce you to....

Martha Stewart Chesley.....

Lunch Lady Chesley....He's sassy

Mint Condish, still in the box Chesley

Couch Model Chesley...needless to say, they sold out of that couch.

Monkey trainer Chesley

Nerdy Blue Steel Chesley

My most favorite of all...
Pirate Chesley

There was a picture of Cross Dresser Chesley...
But I could not bring myself to post it.
Maverik might see it.
I don't want to explain.

02 August 2012

Look at the poo poo!

Before becoming a mother I had all kinds of expectations for myself. One of these expectations is that I would not use ridiculous baby talk to interact with my child.

You know the kind with the high pitched voice and slurred consonants?

I've had a child now. I do it. You'll all do it. Its like a reflex.

Here are the few of the things I've found myself saying, or considered saying in my highest vocal registers to a little boy who has no idea what I'm saying, and no way to protest

     Warning: a large number of these have to do with bowel movements.
Also, why does referring to myself in the third person seem to happen so much more now?

     Why are you breathing like a troll?

     Come here you pooper scooper!

     Okay Mr. Drama Queen, lets take our whiny pants of.

     Lets take care of this poop on the bum problem!

     Who is the handsomest boy in the world?

    Lets not shoot mom in the face with that!

...and many more.

This is the usual response....