You know the kind with the high pitched voice and slurred consonants?
I've had a child now. I do it. You'll all do it. Its like a reflex.
Here are the few of the things I've found myself saying, or considered saying in my highest vocal registers to a little boy who has no idea what I'm saying, and no way to protest
Warning: a large number of these have to do with bowel movements.
Also, why does referring to myself in the third person seem to happen so much more now?
Why are you breathing like a troll?
Come here you pooper scooper!
Okay Mr. Drama Queen, lets take our whiny pants of.
Lets take care of this poop on the bum problem!
Who is the handsomest boy in the world?
Lets not shoot mom in the face with that!
...and many more.
This is the usual response....