25 May 2012

S.E. Boost with that?

Bonlook is my new favorite friend of the day.

They know just how to make a frumpy-feeling pregnant lady feel fashionable.

Just in time to avoid that dumb, "but my body will never the the same AGAIN!" lament for the 43rd time.


23 May 2012

Bedtime Conversations: This Very Night, concerning animal attacks, She's the Man, and me? or the raccoon?

Me: I'm not quite sure how you can still find me attractive with this weird shape and large size my body has taken on.

Ches: I know what your body is doing. Besides, I always think you're hot. Raccoon scratches and all.
 (can you guess what those are? hm??)

Me: My body is pretty much going to be deformed for the rest of my life now. I'm going to have to learn to be okay with it. What would you do if the raccoon had attacked my face?

Ches: I'd kiss the crap out of it.

16 May 2012

Dress Code

I was subbing, and I knew that I would not have constant access to the toilet, so I decided to go before class started even though I was not yet feeling that urge.

I miss having a key because without it I have to use the student bathrooms instead of the staff bathrooms. It is always a little bit awkward tinkling next to a student. They aren't supposed to know that teachers have bodily functions. We are supposed to be non-human, and practically invincible.

I let it slide because this time I'm just the sub.

There are two girls leaning against the sinks talking quietly to each other. I have always wondered at the fact that kids would rather sit in a hard, tiled room for an hour, than sit in an inviting classroom and at least try to learn something. Silly Kids.

I walk in with my pregnant belly preceding me.

"You're so cute!" one of them says. I thank her, and slip into the stall. I do the deed. I come out to wash my hands.

"Can I touch your belly?" The other girl asks while touching it even though I had given no reply.

"Are you a senior?" The first girl says. Sigh. I knew the fact that I don't fit into my slacks and other professional attire would eventually bite me somehow.

"Actually I'm a teacher."

They immediately seem less enthusiastic about asking me questions. I immediately become saddened that theses two 16 or 17 year old girls think it would be glamorous to be 34 weeks pregnant while being a senior in high school.

Who is teaching our young people?! Who is neglecting to let them know that there is an order to life that does not include children until you are in a committed and permanent relationship with someone you will be with for the rest of your life?

These beautiful girls have no idea, and it breaks my heart.

Who is teaching our kids?

15 May 2012


Ever since I've been pregnant, certain parts of me have been off-kilter.

One larger than the other....if you know what I mean.

So this morning when I looked down to see the baby kicking, and the wrong side was larger, I was concerned.

That is when I had my very first experience with falling out the bottom of my bra. I was leaking, if you will.

How does this happen without us noticing until it is too late?!

Thank HEAVEN I was sitting in my living room, and not in front of a high school class.

Alarming, but all turned out well. I am once again lopsided on the correct side.

Thank you.

I am glad I got to share this with you.