28 September 2011

I could take him...

This young man....

will be home from his deployment in Afghanistan in just a couple of weeks. He is almost back to a base in the states.

I will be so glad to have him back.


Don't let this innocent looking, lion loving, photograph deceive you.  He is a menace to my life.

If you have a brother-in-law that is close enough to your own age to be a twin that needed some extra time in the oven...you know.

Mostly, he just needs to see what will happen next time he shoves a carefully ketchup dipped corn dog up my nose....

20 September 2011

A Draft

This is a draft I wrote as an example for some of my 10th graders that are working on their own autobiographical incidents.  More of myself ended up in it than I intended.  All of a sudden it became  a draft of my progress toward being what my husband deserves, and what a person is meant to be in a relationship.

Forgive my lack of skill in writing. After all, this is my first draft of this piece, and at being married, and at life, and we all know that first drafts always need revision and care.

The breeze created by my own movement fingered through my boyishly short hair. The perfect summer evening temperature slammed into my body as I pedaled in an effort to pummel into as much of it as possible.  Why had I ever gone a moment without owning a bicycle? This rolling momentum that is so much more smooth and rapid than walking was something I hadn’t experience since I was a child.
            I smiled widely to myself at the glimpse of my last memory on a bicycle.  I had probably been about ten, and in an attempt to impress myself and some of the neighbor kids, I tried to pop a wheelie. The bolt on my front wheel had become loose, and as I lifted it off the ground it slid away from the bike frame and rolled right away. I crashed. I was embarrassed. Ouch on my body and my ego. That must be why I stayed away from this marvelous modem of transportation for so long.  Now that I had decided to take it up again, it was definitely was worth the risk.  The neighbor kids were grown up and gone away.  I no longer felt the need to impress. 

            I rode between the church and the old Masons’ Temple. The duskiness of the outside light, and the oldness of the streets and buildings as they whisked by at a medium speed, left streaks of themselves in my mind, and made me laugh out loud with a child-like happiness. I began to reflect on why I had not felt this happiness all day. It was my birthday after all, and who doesn’t deserve to be gleefully happy on their birthday?  Only bad guys, and I was decidedly not one of those. 

            I thought back to walking out of my little home that morning and seeing the beautiful minty-green and white beach cruiser parked in front of my door.  I had gone to bed upset, and I woken up upset, and I didn’t want to go back in and thank him. But I did because that would have been heartlessly rude.  But I stayed upset.

            He tried to take me on a birthday date, and I said, “No. We don’t have money”.     As he protested that we would manage, and he would find a job soon, I said, “I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to not really work at finding a job, and definitely before you decided to spend money on video games”. That was all. Then I turned back to the sink full of dishes and put my pouty face on. He kissed me on my forehead, said Happy Birthday, and walked away.

            I hadn’t thought about the fact that he hadn’t bought anything for himself in some time.  Not about the fact that he has only played video games perhaps 10 times in the few years we've been together. I hadn’t thought about the fact that he was as stressed as I was. I hadn’t thought about the fact that looking for a job in a small town only provides so many options, and he was doing what he knew to do.  I didn’t let him take me out.

            Now it was a few hours later, and I was finally getting my first ride on this thoughtful and beautiful gift he had given me.  I rounded the block by the house and immediately felt ashamed that I had behaved as I did.  He had given me a gift that helped me drive my stress from my mind, and made me feel like a kid again, and I had given him some snappy words and a bad attitude.  He had still been so loving. 

            I made a final loop and let the hands of that breeze pass over the surface of my face one more time.  The light of the sun going down over the swampy horizon shot out brilliant shafts of orange, pink, and purple.  I pedaled that brand-new contraption back into the carport, crossed the front yard, and went to find my husband for a big fat kiss.

08 September 2011

Things I wish I was half of: A List

Elvish: I don't want to be full Elf, because who really wants to live forever.  I just want to look super young always. Also, their ears are the greatest.

Antelope: I don't think I've ever posted about my inability to run, let alone do it in a graceful fashion.

Narnian:  Don't you wish you know what that horse was saying right before you got booted off?

Genius: Not full, because sometimes a lot they turn out awkardish.  I only want to be award enough to keep superficial people away.

Horse: Because centaurs are cool.

Actress: Then I could be in Dr. Who and pretend it is super real without getting all caught up in that yucky fame nonsense. Also, I nominate myself for leading lady in the next (G-rated) James Bond movie)

Mad: You see so many things you wouldn't see otherwise

05 September 2011

We should have washed his basketball shorts


That was the mosquito. In my face.  In the dark.

Wife: We're probably going to get bitten in the face ALL NIGHT.

Husband: I HATE these stupid bugs.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzz. buzzzz.  buzzzzzzzzz.

Husband: AAAAAARGH!!!

Wife's face gets whipped by the corner of a lava-lava leaping out of bed.

Lights flash. Chord whipped out. Connections connected.


Also results:

Wife's incessant "drunken with sleep" giggling.

Dead bugs.

Gained knowledge that said lava-lava gives husband a nice contour of the buttock.  Wife did not think this was possible.  She is pleased.