23 October 2013

I was hiding under a bush, so to speak.

Fear is something I have in abundance. I am afraid of a lot of things. Much to my chagrin, a lot of my fears have to do with what I think other people will think of me. Like every human being, I battle feelings of inadequacy. 

I'm working on it.

One of my biggest fears has always been talking about my faith. The faith that I have in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The faith that I have in Jesus Christ as my Savior, in living prophets, in studying the word of God, in serving people. I also believe in being good and kind to all people, no matter how they may differ from me. 

Growing up in Utah where the overwhelming majority of people went to the same church, meant that I took people's beliefs for granted. 

I was also afraid of putting my testimony, my soul out there on the line only to have it scoffed at or rejected harshly. 

Going to College helped me learn that even in Utah, people are diverse and believe many things. I also learned that there are a lot of non-Mormon people in Utah that find the church or some of its members annoying,overbearing, or even offensive. The idea of becoming that person scared me enough to almost never talk about religion with people outside of the Mormon community. We just talked about everything else instead. Occasionally friends would ask me questions, and I would answer them quickly, and try to move on in order to get out of the danger zone.


I am trying not to be afraid anymore. 

I'm a Mormon. I adore being a Mormon. The knowledge of the Gospel gives me a foundation and a direction that I could not get anywhere else. I have a close relationship with a Heavenly Father who knows me very well, and makes his presence obvious in my life by answering my endless prayers, and extending tender mercies when I feel like I am nearing the end of my capacity to cope. 

I have now had the chance to have wonderful, non-scary talks with friends about my testimony. Even if they aren't that curious, so far, no one has been scary or unkind. Its not like we are talking about politics...its just religion right? :D

In order to help me really move past this dumbly immense fear I have created for myself, I am going to start posting once in a while about some of the things I love about my Faith. If spiritual things annoy you or make you uncomfortable, feel free to skip those posts. I won't mind. Don't worry about this blog becoming a bible school. Not going to happen. I will continue to make other posts as well. 

If you are ever curious about anything I post, please don't hesitate to ask me through the comments or an email. If you don't want to ask, the church's website holds many answers and resources. 

Here is to the end of fear.

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