03 June 2013

you should love yourself because I said so, and some other reasons

I had a very lovely and much needed girls night out this weekend. Isn't it amazing to talk, laugh, and just interact with other women ?! Don't get me wrong, I am a F-A-N (I reeeeally like them) of men, but women need women too.

There were ten of us sitting at the chef's table at Olives, and I can assure you that the conversation was delightful, and the laughter free. We talked about hair while I tried to convert everyone to dry shampoo, watching your children grow, and how weird it was that bread is so addicting when it is so simple. 

At one point they had me talking about my family, and how we each seem to have a different niche, and how it is so easy to be jealous when a talent or ability (or in my brother Shane's case just being beautiful) comes so effortlessly. I began to think about how desperately women have fought at times to feel like their lives were as exciting or beautiful as the lives of people whose blogs they follow, or whose posts they see on facebook and instagram.  

To counter this, I made this list:

1. It sounds cliche, but I am the only person exactly like me! I may not be an interesting person because I have been to amazing places, or done a lot of cool things. But, I am an interesting person because of my thoughts, quirks, and the way I express myself.


2. As women we simply deserve to feel pretty and loveable. I am aware that may sound too simple minded, but I believe it with all of my heart. Each of us has something about us that is beautiful. What I have to offer the world may not be as big or public as what some other women offer, but I have people to whom I am more important than any of those other women. So do you. That isn't to say that they or what they do aren't valuable, but you can not base your worth or beauty off of that of other people. Also, when your husband, boyfriend, best friend, or someone that truly knows and loves you tells you that you are beautiful, BELIEVE THEM.

3. I have some stellar abilities. I can't draw like my sister, make music like my brother, or compare to another brother's quick wit, but I have my own stuff. I am good at making people feel comfortable. I have a stellar British accent. I am good at resolving disputes peacefully. I have an artistic eye. Abilities. I have them. You have them.

4. My body does everything for me that I need. My relationship with my body is long and very much resembles what you would see on a heart monitor. I have  felt too big since middle school (haven't we all), my nose is big and has a weird shape, I have poop brown eyes, can you say man hands?...on and on I hashed at my body. Only in the last few months decided that I actually like my body. I like my body despite that fact that I am as big as I ever was, not counting pregnant me, and have serious scarring from that pregnancy. I look just fine in a size 12. If you struggle with your body, at least be aware and thankful of what it does for you. That will help you to appreciate it a little more. 

I can get off of my soap box now, but I would love to hear how you have reminded yourself that you are important and brilliant even when the pictures you post on facebook never seem to be as perfect as that one girl with which you went to high school....? 

Lets help each other out! Spread the love! Leave me a comment and post a pretty picture of you today!


sarahbjolley said...

words cannot describe how much i love this post. we should all be a little more proud of the beautiful women we are. we need to love ourselves. I've been on a major up and down cycle of loving and despising my body ever since pregnancy. but the last several weeks i've been making a real effort to love myself more, and that includes my body. and this post? well this post really helped me in my journey. you're fantastic kj. simply fantastic.

R~E~O said...

I think it's always interesting how each of us has things about our body that we don't like and I know that sometimes in my weird mind I think that I am the only one who has issues with my body. Don't get me wrong- deep down I feel that I am beautiful, but sometimes it is hard to not compare to that really pretty girl on facebook from highschool. It is such a wonderful and freeing thought to just love your body because it's your gift from God. The past couple of weeks when I have gotten down on my body the thought pops in my mind of how my body functions and does what it needs to do and that alone is beautiful. Funny how you posted this because I've been thinking lots about this :) miss you Karlie!

Jon and Tara Harper said...

Thanks for that! I needed that. I have for the past 12 years probably struggled with liking my body and just being happy with me. I am really trying to overcome this weakness and just this week I decided that for every negative thought I would have to come up with two things that I love about myself. I was so busy yesterday that I didn't really have time to see the negative, in fact it was probably the opposite. I worked out in the morning and then rode my bike to Jill's to watch her kids and then had to ride home after, which was incredibly hard since my legs were so tired. I then mowed the lawn when I got home, so that Jon wouldn't have to do it. It was a busy day, but it was wonderful to see all that my body can do. I appreciate your thoughts and it gives me courage to continue on my journey of learning to appreciate my body for what it is and what it can do. Thanks!