One of my life goals is to become a fluent conversationalist.
I have talked about my awkward conversation quirks before, and my difficulty in keeping up flowing conversation is something that causes me to face palm regularly. I can't tell you the number of times I have walked away from conversations with new people wanting to stick pins into my eyes.
I hope I never meet any celebrities for which I have any admiration, because I am pretty sure they would walk away thinking I was a complete moron.
Seriously, it is a miracle I can function in the adult world.
There is one question that people ask that I dread and trip over more than any of the others. It should be simple enough to answer. Its not.
Let me walk you through my mental fall apart.
"So, what do you like to do?"
Brain: Crap. I only like to read. I mean I LIKE to do other things but I am either not good at them, or don't do them regularly enough to feel honest in announcing it as a frequented activity.
Me: Oh, not very much. I like to read and blog, but I pretty much just hang out with Maverik all day. Being a mom takes a lot of time.
Brain: Why don't I do anything cool! I want this person to think I am somewhat interesting, but I sound so UN-interesting. Its not like I can say I like skydiving, I've only been one time.I need to start being artistic or crafty so I can talk about making something....or something. I like going outside, hiking, boating, but am not like super-granola or anything. I made a jean quilt once, but it is falling apart now. I eat processed foods, not healthy conversation topics. They don't have a child, so I can't talk about baby things. Do I think about anything other than poop and nap time anymore? Oh, M is trying to eat the table.
Me: awkward smile. act like I need something in my purse or like I got a text message. Talk to M as if her were actually listening, and it is very important.
Brain: Oh, I guess I could return the question? But, has it lulled too long now? Will I be blurting it out of nowhere at this point?
Me: Become very intent on my meal, and make sure you swallow before you talk if they ask you something else.
I'm hopeless. Anyone out there give smooth talker lessons?