Time. He's sneaky. Mischievous. Loves Tom foolery and shenanigans.
He stretches himself out in what seems to be an endless way when you are waiting for something exciting or big. He also does this when you are going through something less than ideal.
Example: That drive from your house the your favorite grocery store or burger joint flies by like nothing...until you discover you have to tinkle, and then you get behind every single stinking slow person, and hit every single red light. You also know that somehow, someone threw in at least 10 extra miles of road between point A and point B.
Then something wonderful happens, like you win an all expense paid trip to Disneyland for 10 days by being the 43rd caller at your favorite radio station. I mean ALL expenses. From tshirts to the caramel apples at the Winnie the Pooh shop. You just get to charge it all to an account set up by the radio station. Then, while you are there, they offer you a couple of extra days because your family looks so happy that they want to shoot a commercial using you, and they need a shot on every single ride. Also, they will pay you for this.
Time will take this, and contract himself to seem a shorter time than that excruciating car ride to the grocery store.
Him and me, we aren't really friends.