Jelly Beans

Usually almost always consistently just about at least once a day I get to feel like this



What does this feel like you ask? I will tell you.

Like I am the most delicious, hilarious, wonderful, beautiful, desirable, spontaneous, voluptuous woman in the entire world.

All of those are good things.

I am SO lucky that even if it is for 5 seconds, husband makes me feel like this at least once every day.

If your husband doesn't do this, sick a jelly bean up his nose. (Mike N' Ike's work as a decent substitute).

Denial

I have been in a state of denial for the past 3 or 4 weeks. I told myself EVERY time I put on my shorts or jeans that they were tight because they must have just come out of the wash. I told myself that I wasn't eating THAT much sugar. I looked in the mirror and sucked in just enough to make the roll that has appeared around my middle to disappear long enough for me to forget its there before I leave the mirror....

But I jumped on the scale today. I have gained some marriage weight. I almost decided to have a breakdown, but then decided that would be rather dumb and dramatic. I like the decision.

However, I need to do something about it now. I don't like how I feel. I don't like that I weigh quite a bit more than my husband. I don't like that I don't feel pretty standing next to him.

So instead of whining, I am going to do something about it. I am going to give up the sugar that I love so much (The Otter Pops will be rationed to 1 or 2 a day. I just CAN'T give those up completely). I am going to start a routine of exercising. I am hoping to put a schedule together alternating yoga and running. I am going to drink many waters.

But most of all

I am not going to let 20 pounds get the better of my self esteem, and I am NOT going to let those pounds be the boss of me. I am the boss, and they are getting the boot.

Otter Pops. Sigh.

Last summer I wrote a post about Otter Pops,....

and then yesterday I ate twelve of them. TWELVE! I can't HELP myself.

They never make me sick, and they NEVER stop tasting delicious and feeling refreshing!

I am worried that this addiction that I have is what will send me spiraling down to the fiery depths of Hades realm for actively and willing participating in one of the seven deadly sins. GLUTTONY.

But even the prospect of that will not stop me because well.....it's really HOT down there, and even thinking about it makes my legs grow a mind of their own and walk straight to the freezer.

...THEN I have to throw my wrapper away, and the freezer is conveniently located just an arms length away from the garbage can. It's called feng shui people!

They EVEN crept into my engagement pictures!



* Three Otter Pops were consumed during the writing of this post. A Pink one, Blue one, and a green one. However, no otters were harmed in the making of this production.

Um.....not

This will be a short post, but it is long overdue.

Husband and I have been married for about 7 months. I swear, if one more person asks me when I am going to have a baby....

Or exclaims that I am probably pregnant when I feel the slightest bit less than 100%

I might....implode.

I truly do want children. I anticipate motherhood as the most glorious thing I will do. But really.

I do feel slightly guilty when my mother-in-law starts talking about how badly she wants grandchildren....Or when my own wonderful father talks about how awesome he will be as a grandfather.....poop.

Sorry. I'm not pregnant.