08 February 2014

a how to, including a very funny man with a side sweep hairdo

I am not a stranger to what I call self issues. I doubt and compare myself, and can remember doing it for as long as I can remember being self aware.

I have doubted my intellect, my sense of humor, my coolness (coolness is SO lame Steve Carell sums it up bestly), my attractiveness, my style, my ability to interact with people in general....and it could go on.

I still struggle with self issues, I alwaaaaays will, but I have made some pretty large strides in learning to love myself despite my square feet, non-dainty nose, and lack of conversational skill. I think some of this simply comes with maturity (snort. since I have that and stuff.), but some of it has had to be very deliberate. Otherwise I would get into a really icky spiral of self dislike.

So, here is a way I am learning to deliberately deal with my self issues:

I listen to the people that love me. When my husband gives me a compliment, I am trying to learn to take it as true rather than thinking he says what he knows would make me happy if it were true. (The woman's mind is such a webby, messy place)This applies to looks, tastes, and intellect. He also thinks I am very funny. Bless him.

When my well meaning, but creepy 17 year old brother tells my my hair looks sexy a certain way, I let myself feel pretty, and punch him while telling him you never say that to your sister. Ya idiot.

When my mom says,"you look cute, as usual,"....I don't really believe her because I usually haven't showered within the last day, and know she says it because I am a reflection of her genetics, and she wants to be hopeful. Still working on believing the mom :)

Point: The people who live outside of your head perceive you in a completely different manner than you perceive yourself, and if you let yourself learn their way of perception, you start to see the light a little bit more.

Here's to our lovers and loved ones. Trust their eyes, not yours.

1 comment:

Anita said...

I completely relate to this post!!!! I think most women do. Unfortunately!

I do have to say, though, that I think you are beautiful! I think that all the time when I see you at church or wherever. You're physically beautiful, but you also have a shine about you that just makes you glow and you look happy. And I love your sense of style. I often look at things you wear, or your glasses, and think that I wish I could get away with wearing things like that, but I would just look silly in them. You always manage to pull it all off with style, though!