Happy List

In Relief Society (our church's fabulous women's organization) on Sunday we talked about maintaining happiness even through the difficult phases of our lives. It was a powerful reminder for me of all the things in my life which bring me joy.

A few of the things I've been thinking about:

Taking M with us out to our Valentine dinner, and having him realize and vehemently object to the fact that we had left P home with a babysitter. "No! She's supposed to come with us! I need her!" 

Feeling C smile in the middle of one of those (dare I say) delicious 15 second kisses.
If you are in a relationship and not doing this, start.

I've made dinner the last five night in a row. Five nights in a row people,
Four of them have been delicious.

Just Gilmore Girls.

I've been having a lot of dreams about old friends from high school and college. I have been blessed with some of the most fabulous people in my life. Holla.

Yesterday C finally made the triangle shelves that were supposed to be my
mother's day gift last year. They are gorgeous. 

I have bought more new music in the last month than the last seven years combined.
Isn't new music such a liberating experience? 

and these: 

i am so happy.

Some things about being back

Coming back to MN after dark, to a new house stacked with boxes, with a husband working at the opposite end of the state will make you want to cry a little. Or just make a u-turn for the airport to return to somewhere that doesn't make you feel sticky when you step outside.

It only take about 24 hours to get over the aforementioned wallowing , and the purchase of nutty bars, swiss rolls, and toffee ice cream bars definitely have a strong hand in that rebound.

Your toddler will feel like life is taking place in a magical new world because he has grass right outside his front door instead of a prison-like hallway. He also appreciates the newfound strength he has to crush rocks (dirt clods) with his bare hands, so don't worry about the dirt patches on the lawn. They are aiding in the construction of confidence.

Having wonderful friends is dee bayst. I know you don't want to seem moochy and needy, but lady, you're 8 months pregnant, and frankly, need all of the help anyone at all anywhere is willing to give you. Let them bring you dinner and unpack your kitchen. You will be so grateful.

Sleeping with a man in your bed isn't nearly as hard as you thought. Turns out your pregnant body didn't HAVE to take up all of that other space after all. 

Don't rake the entire yard at once. It will send you into contractions. Do half one day, and the other half on some other day.

Don't feel guilty about laying in bed for an hour after M wakes up. He got out of bed himself, and started playing with his toys himself. He's happy. You need rest. You can pick up every single toy he owns in about five minutes. Its okay if they get strewn about.

Those yoga pants that you stole from your mom? They fall down a lot. Try to only wear them at home.

Minnesota, its good to see ya.

Whining STINKS

It's raaaaaaaaaaaning, which means we don't get to go outside today, but it also means that things will grow and get green and beautiful and lurvley. It also means I could eat something with 'sprinkles' in order to add theme to my day.

Our apartment is partially underground (We just cant completely give up hobbit living), so the windows are right at ground level outside. This morning we came in from an early appointment, and there was the reddest, most gorgeous, most delightful little cardinal right next to window. M was fascinated. He called to it through the window to come back for several minutes after it had flown away.

I booked the flight for M and I to get to Utah this summer. After C worked a few 14ish hour days this week it made me very grateful that I have the option of going to family while he works that many hours every day for months. How stellar is modern transportation and communication?!

M is growing and learning in a manner and at a rate that seems out of control to me. It is so fun to watch and gets me good and tired by bed time. Seriously, kids are a wonder to behold.

I have made real dinner like, three days in a row. That gives me a pass tonight right? Yusssssssss.

                   

The kind of things I shouldn't say

Being a mom has been hard lately. Lately being for the last eight weeks or so. Winter makes a mother's confidence shrivel to a fraction of itself. I have found myself wishing that I could just let someone else take care of M for a while. I'm not a bad mom. I'm a tired mom. All moms want to ship their children to the other side of the country at least pretty often.

I'm failing at liking my body today. I'll try again tomorrow.

Dishes have been sitting in the sink for at least 24 hours.

It took me two weeks to put two letters in the mail. It took me five minutes.

I let my not-quite-two year old watch about an hour of television every day. I don't count the hours that shows may be on for me. He doesn't really pay attention to Say Yes To The Dress.

And you know what, I still think my life is pretty good, that I'm a pretty good mom, and that there is something sexy about me. I do have a child, and we know how those come about: by being sexy.

As we go galavanting

I don't think I have ever made an actual list of goals at the turn of the year.

I want to be accountable. I want to be reminded. I want to accomplish the crap out of some stuff, so

10 things I most hope to accomplish in 2014:

1. Learn at least one new moderately difficult piano piece. Fingers remember thy practice!

2. Make more fresh veggies. Twice a week would be WAY more than currently.

3. Sing somewhere other than in my shower, or over my dirty dishes. In front of some people.

4. Go into New York for a day trip by myself at least once (we will be living close for a few months. I should tell you guys about this soon).

5. Try macaroons

6. Eliminate fat talk from my conversation, and my thoughts...no matter how thin my mother gets.

7. Love my husband better.

8. Read a new book every month. I shall post a list soon.

9. Keep to a budget, which includes ONLY buying things at the grocery store that are on the LIST.

10. Have more creative play for M, otherwise, I shall never remember to teach him his colors or his body parts.

                              

Some times

One time I was so into a television show that I forgot to turn the burner off when I removed my finished ramen noodle dinner from the stove (We were still students, and Ches was waiting tables that night, so naturally that was what I was eating). A potholder was touching the burner. The apartment was completely filled with smoke before it tore my attention away from the screen in order to prevent my fiery death.

One time I didn't notice a hole in my black tights until we were on our way out the door to church. I grabbed a sharpie and colored my skin underneath to hide it. I took the marker with me in case the tights shifted. They did. C still teases me for walking around with big black marker moles on the back of my legs for a couple of days.

One time I dropped my phone on my one month old child's face. Avoid being over-zealous about baby photos.

One time I had to throw up (morning sickness ruuuuules) at the school before my students arrived. Apparently my skirt was a little tight because the slit ripped all the way up to my mid-bum. I had to waddle back to the classroom clutching my behind while trying to stay slinked against the walls. I re-learned two things, I can arch my back really well, and safety pins are a good tool.

 

just today

I remembered that I once confused the words 'pubic' and 'cuticle'....horrifying. 

Don't ask me why.

Perhaps its the same reason I have to think for at lease 15 seconds before I can differentiate between Reese Witherspoon and Kate Hudson in my mind.

My husband might argue that it is probably related to the same brain disfunction that causes my lack of attraction for George Clooney. 

Why I can never say the word repricocity reciprocity correctly. So hard.

Not to mention this list of items. 

Do you know what is not hard? Looking at this face.

                           

How I apply comic books to real life.

Kryptonite. It is not a real thing. But it's totally a real thing.

I differ in many ways from Kryptonite's original victim. Wearing my underwear under my clothes and understanding that glasses are not an effective disguise are just the beginning of that list. 

This list is just about Kryptonite. The fact that the man of steel only has one weakness is totally proof of his superness.

This is a list of my brands of Kryptonite. They are many. Here are five of them.

                                   

Cookies: you guys are aware if this. I talk about food often, and cookies are in my mind and in my belly particularly often. I have a problem. Seeking cookie counseling. I could really eat an entire dozen cookies without even pausing to consider the fact that it isn't good for me, and sometimes I get curious about how many I could eat before I get sick.

Head massage: That thing the wicked witch does when they throw water on her at the end of Wizard of Oz? I do that, except with happy ooooh's and aaaaaah's, slobber coming forth from the corner of my mouth, and crossed eyes. I puddlefy on the spot. A guy that was once interested in me discovered this, and used it as a party trick a couple of times. As in, hey guys, watch this... I become an instantaneous puddle. I didn't think it was very funny. Just very awkward. We didn't date.

Shoes: a typical womanly weakness. Here's the thing, the right shoes can make a bland outfit feel unique or spunky. This is important to me. I hate feeling meh, bleh, blah, or pleh. Shoes are an easy way to avoid that. And it is hard to be too chubby for shoes....unless we are talking about knee length boots. I can never zip those up over my (not even that big) legs. A topic for not right now. In short, shoes can be a quick way to just feel a little better about the world.

Soft Serve Swirl Cones: Yes, another food item makes my top five list of weaknesses. This particular weakness brings on the side of me that C refers to as "baby Karlie". I will mow right over old people on the sidewalk if there is a soft serve place in sight. My voice suddenly jumps up an octave  and my vocabulary shrinks to mostly squeals and laughs. I'm not kidding. Something just...comes over me. The ice cream bliss. Swirl cones in Cars Land and Charlie's in Logan are tied for the win.

HGTV: I argue that this is useful. I have learned SO much about what I want in a home as far as design and aesthetics than I ever would have figured out watching The Walking Dead (ugh) or Community, or trying to figure it out without television or pinterest (can you IMAGINE?). It doesn't hurt that the Income Property guy is the real life Flynn Rider, Property brothers are so cute, and Kitchen Cousins....well who doesn't visually enjoy them. 

Kryptonite. It's a real thing.

Those times I missed it...

"it" being that thing that was meant to be obvious. 

I feel like I am a fairly intelligent person. I love to learn. I always did well in school. I am not super ditzy or anything (right guys...?). 

But then it takes me 18 years of being alive to realize that the symbol for the greatest store, Target.....is a Target. I just saw a solid circle inside of a hollowed out circle. facepalm. In my defense, Wal-Mart had a monopoly on the smiley face for a while, and there was no obvious connection there.



. . .
It takes me 19 year to finish Pumba's rhyme in the middle of Hanukah Matata. You know the one. "And I got down hearted. How did you feel? Every time that I Pumba! Not in front of the kids!" 

For years I remember thinking, "Huh. Every time that he what? I guess I will never know. Silly Disney people." 

I grew up in a home where flatulence was the go-to humor subject. Tell me, please, how I missed that one until I was a grown up.

. . .
U-haul....isn't just a coincidence. Its clever. You-haul it yourself. Yeah. I was old enough to be married to a very sad man shaking his head. 


. . .
Aaaaaaand Friday. June 28, 2013. Like, FIVE days ago. I was doing the dishes while listening to a Katie Perry song. Hot N' Cold. We all know it. In my duet with Ms. Perry I sang the line: "we used to be just like twins, so in sync", and I thought,"funny. That sounds like N'SYNC. I wonder if they...."

and I hung my head in shame.

Selfie courtesy of photobooth and 2008

Please tell me I am not the only one....

Weekend Wisdom (whenever walking wear weathered....sneakers?)

Ah, the satisfying feeling of using alliteration. Never gets old. Anyway.

wisdom begotten:

It is possible to whip up 2 quarts of rice pudding from the milk that is going to expire today, and eat all of it yourself in about 48 hours. Rice pudding and I have been having quite the affair for years now. 

Prayer works. It just does. It works with the biggest and smallest (like your child really really needing to fall asleep) things.

Having your home up on Skype in the background for four hours is definitely not excessive, and can make you feel like you are actually hanging out with your family.

My affection for Star Trek has not let me down. May it live long and prosper. (too much?) Also, this is the cause of my next item.

Benedict Cumberbatch. He needs no explanation.

This beautiful weather and these green landscapes are stealing my heart. 

5 Things

I've found myself doing since beginning my posterity, that I never imagined I'd do:

1. I pick someone else's boogers. I know this is old news to moms, but THINK about it. Imagine doing that for another grown person. Pleh.

2. I have frequent and long conversations with a person who doesn't care what I am talking about as long as I keep going. I normally struggle with flowing conversation. It is a good arrangement in which to learn about myself. However, I do sometimes just sing "This is the Song That Never Ends" for a very long time.

3. I let another human poop into my hand. Don't judge. I didn't want it in the bath water. Yes, I thought about holding him over the toilet, but it was not soon enough in the chain of events.

4. I share my plate at meals. What is the big deal, you ask? Listen people, I don't share my food. Its mine. At the Donovan household, eating from someone else's plate is just as heinous as reading their diary. Which I did do to my sister once. I took it to a sleep over and read it with my friends. I wonder if this is why she no longer journals....? Point, I like my child enough to share my food. Big deal.

5. I let my parents cyber-sit sometimes when I have to go potty, or start the laundry. It is a marvelous arrangement. Also, I know I am a good mom because when my son wants to each wood chips from the flower bed, I hand him the bigs ones so he can't swallow them. Word.

mark it off the list

I have several "lists" in my life. I have my man list, which I wrote over a year ago, and is desperately crying out to be updated. I have a list of movies to see, places to go, people to meet, foods to try, and books to read. 

I never actually write these things down, but when one of them comes up in a conversation I might be having, I definitely say, "Yes! That is on my list!". Sometimes they were conveniently and mentally placed on the list simultaneously with being exclaimed as on said list. In the back of my mind I am usually hoping that the exclamation actually qualifies as a truth, even thought it isn't written down, or I have a lot, A LOT, of fibs to explain to my maker.

I consider myself really lucky to have a baby who will play on the floor for over an hour at a time, multiple times a day, and have started to use some of this time to read books. Don't get annoyed with me if I talk about them all okay? 

I am reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Its been on my book list since the movie came out. I know, I am waaaaaaay behind the bandwagon. And TRUST ME, having graded a surprising amount of book reports that were definitely written from a movie, I know that one should read a book first whenever possible. In my defense I heard about the movie before the book, but I am not sorry it happened in the other order with this one. I am not sure any of the visuals would have come out right in my mind because that culture is so different than what I know. Warblings put aside, it is fanTAStic. 

I am a cooped up English teacher. It can't be helped.

I am all over the place. Point. Read it. See the movie. They're gorgeous.

*update: I wrote this post when I was still in the first half of the book. There are some parts that I ended up not caring for.

Q & A Session: With Myself

Q: Saying that Elder Holland is stellar is cliche by now, but will you say it anyway?

A: Duh. Elder Holland has a special gift to touch the hearts of people who listen to him. I am certainly not an exception. 

Q: How many episodes of Doctor Who did you watch this weekend?

A: Well, I didn't count on purpose because I knew I would be ashamed. The number mostly likely reached the double digits. 

Q: What is a current fear that you have?

A: That Maverik won't know how present I was in his infancy because there will be few pictures of us together. I am always behind the camera. Selfies can only be done from so many angles. He might think I had no body. Also, chicken thighs. I loath them. They always have veins and blood left in them, but I keep buying them because they cost so much less than breasts.

Q: Is it acceptable that the sexiest thing you have worn in the past three months is your husbands spandex baseball thermals? (Too much?)

A: a. They are soooooo comfortable, and I was tired of my sweats.  b. It is hard to find time to be sexy on purpose. (waaaaaay to much?) c. No. I will go cook something delicious for him immediately.

Q: Can you continue to have kind thoughts for the 12 people that trudge heavily and unceasingly in the apartment above you into all hours of the night?

A: It is getting iffy. I mostly wonder how two grown families can stand to live in a two bedroom apartment. I applaud them for pulling it off, but if they don't get hover-socks soon, I might have to start morse-coding mean things at them with my broom handle. 

Once Upon a Weekend

Ches and I played the name game for about an hour. This is where you say the name of a famous person, i.e. Abraham Lincoln, and the next person has to answer it with another person whose first name starts with the same letter as the previous person's last name. i.e. Laura Ingalls. (I had to mightily defend Ms. Ingalls as a realy famous person) We ended with Krsiti Yamaguchi. I could only think of the name Yvonne, but no one famous to attach to it....google has prepared me for our next match. 

I wanted to start crying 15 minutes into my primary class with the five year olds. They were EVERYWHERE! I really do love children, but I do best with numbers fewer than three, and ages below twelve months. I said many silent prayers for patience, and was grateful for the tub of plato. Good thing those kids were fascinated with florescent orange tortillas and cookies....which TOTALLY had something to do with the lesson on baptism... Give me 36 teenagers anyday.

I noticed we were getting low on food, but became determined to make it until next saturday before we hit the grocery store. I apologized to Chesley in advance for the upcoming slam of pb&j and ramen heavy meals. Its only Monday and I have already made several laps around the apartment waiting for different and more food to appear magically. 

*Tuesday update. Enchiladas took a toll on our cheese supply. I just ate a bean burrito with NO CHEESE because I am trying to conserve it for the grilled cheese I have in mind for later in the week. 

Spent most of one day finishing The Paris Wife. It sucked me in, and made me very sad. The life that is portrayed in that time period and that mind set is a life I would not have been fit for. I am proud to be old too fashioned for the free way they seemed to live. If you like being sad, I highly recommend it. It is written in a lovely way. 

Went on our first explorational drive. The houses here are old and so NEAT! There are two houses that I would buy and live in for the rest of my life despite the fact they are in Minnesota. I only got a picture of one of them, and it doesn't even begin to portray its really loveliness.

An Ode to Marshmallow Martyrdom

Do you know what this is?

 

This is my, "I loooooooooooooooooove Christmas time" mug.

My "I think all of the Thanksgiving Nazi's should be forced to wear Santa Suits" mug

My "It is now time to commence the constant playing of Celtic renditions of magical classical Christmas Songs" mug

My "I need to splurge on boots and festive scarves" mug

My "I should wear jingle bell earings, but only for one day because after that it is irritating" mug

My "Ouch this hot chocolate burns, and I remember that I don't really love hot chocolate mug"

Sigh. 

Bring on the Holidays

Letters

Dear Hannah and Lacy

Thank you for letting me copy you. I like you.



Dear Bangs
Please stop blowing apart in the middle so that I look like I have drawn back curtain on my face.


Dear Gym
Will you stop being so unappealing please? Right now the couch is totally beating you.

Dear Favorite Yellow Shoes
I am sorry I had to leave you outside. If you had been more conducive to sock-wearing I might be able to keep you in my closet.



Dear Internet
You should reach just a tiny bit farther into my front room, so I can preserve my toosh from this unfriendly cement slab that is my front step.


Dear Pinky Toe
I am so sorry that half of your nail came off. The edge of that couch was closer than I calculated.

Dear Sunshine on My Face
You feel nice.



Dear Freezer
I am so glad that you are holding some pecan caramel ice cream for me. How nice.

Dear Chenyl and Mark Sam
I miss you. But mostly Chenyl. But I guess Mark Sam too....



because although I don't particularly miss this....


I miss this


And this.....VERY much



Dear Helicopter
Please be good while husband is flying you. I am rather fond of him, and would like him to be around long enough to see me become a good cook, so...a long time. And besides...


He's so....spectacular

My Sugar Free Day

Oh, those tootie fruties are so small that it doesn't even count as sugar

...even after I've eaten 43 of them.

Its my BIRTHDAY cake. I HAVE to finish it. It really doesn't count against my sugar points because it was for my birthday. You can't gain pounds or inches from something that came from your birthday. It would be immoral.

That last nectarine really needed to be slathered in whipped cream while I ate it. It was a little mushy, plus the positive fruit-ness of the nectarine TOTALLY canceled out the sweet in the whipped cream. It's practically all air anyway. All the substance came from the fruit.

I clearly needed the fruit to counteract the cheese that was in my quesadilla , and I really couldn't have eaten the fruit alone because it was mushy, so really.... the whipped cream was completely necessary.

....maybe I'll do better tomorrow

Jelly Beans

Usually almost always consistently just about at least once a day I get to feel like this



What does this feel like you ask? I will tell you.

Like I am the most delicious, hilarious, wonderful, beautiful, desirable, spontaneous, voluptuous woman in the entire world.

All of those are good things.

I am SO lucky that even if it is for 5 seconds, husband makes me feel like this at least once every day.

If your husband doesn't do this, sick a jelly bean up his nose. (Mike N' Ike's work as a decent substitute).

The Weekend

that was really five days, so it was more of a week...but that's beside the point. My kick butt weekend started on Thursday night, and when clear to Tuesday night. I did many marvelous things, but two of them are epic, and possibly life changing.

#1 I got a new brother! He is the second handsome one on the left of the most handsome one, and on the right of the one that is in the awkward stage of life, but will one day grow to handsomeness like his brothers. (Love you Tanner) Good thing Abbie and I finish of the ends to make the family look REALLY good.

He came home from a mission in Africa, which is why I am disappointed in his lack of tan. Isn't it sunny there? And also, I was not impressed when he shoved a ketchup laden corn dog, that I happened to be enjoying, forcefully into the right side of my face, therefore making me a ketchup face.

But I am so nice that I really liked him anyway. Plus I beat him soundly in all attempted video games, so he's pretty cool.


#2 I also drew a mustache on a stick with antlers out of sidewalk chalk, and was not smart enough to know how to flip the picture the right direction without my beautiful macbook. This is by far the most epic moment of my weekend...maybe my fortnight.


ciao.
karlie jean

More often than not sometimes I....

Get back in bed with husband after my morning run instead of doing my crunches, stretches, and push-ups

Think that person riding their bike up the hill in my direction has two heads, until they pass me and I realize it was their backpack protruding from behind their real head.

Tell myself I will only eat one Popsicle, then proceed to eat two or three, and not even feel guilty about it.

I have cravings to eat out, and I know we shouldn't because money is tight, but somehow I make myself think we'll be fine, so go out we do.

I pretend to be grown up when I don't feel good, but in all reality I just want my mom (sorry husband).

I say I am going to be a good wife and cook good meals, but when I get home from campus after 9-10 hours, baked potatoes or frozen burritos via the microwave are as gourmet as I'm gonna get.

I want my life to seem as cool as hers or maybe hers, but then I remember that mine is already the bomb.