Embarrassing mix-ups, and, oh how I love it when its not me.

Remember those times that I missed the obvious? Remember how I mixed up 'pubic', and 'cuticle'?

facepalm.

I'm still occasionally discovering new embarrassingly obvious facts that I've managed to never understand, but it would simply be selfish to talk more about myself.

I want to make you all feel a little less embarrassed about something outrageous that you've said or mixed up by relating a mix up that someone distantly connected with me made a while back.

In saying that we are distantly connected, I mean the far off connection one has with someone who gave birth to and/or raised them. But, I digress.

The aforementioned, unidentified person to whom I refer has had very serious back and neck problems from birth. During a surgical procedure her doctor, who was unaware of these conditions, positioned her neck in such a way that caused a lot of pain and problems when she awoke from the surgery.

While having a consultation for a follow-up procedure she made sure to mention to the doctor (who happens to be one of the most stoic, refined, and conservative people I've ever met), that she has genital fusion in her neck, so they would need to be a bit more careful.

...

Unsure looks, and and awkward silence were finally broken by my father another distant acquaintance mentioning to the doctor that she must mean congenital fusion.

Genital versus congenital. With the possibility of fusion going on here, I feel like we would need to be pretty sure about which we were speaking.

Thank goodness it was quickly cleared up, or the doctor may have thought he had a medical phenomenon on his hands.

Is it naughty that I find so much comfort in the fact that my blunders are less hilarious than these? I mean, we have also had to make sure she is very conscious of using the words 'sacrum' and 'scrotum' in the correct context.

Very confusing. Also, I hope I still have a family now.

Bedtime Conversations: On Skype

Me: Heeeeey! I can see your face for the first time in daaaays.

C: (not looking at me) Hey beautiful girl.

Me: (waving my hand in front of the camera) Hello? Should I let you go? Is there something going on in there?

C: Oh, sorry. Its just that I haven't seen t.v. in forever!

Me: Excuse me? You haven't seen what in forever (I helped him by circling my face with my finger)? Want to try that again?

Boy, you're lucky I love ya! Its mostly just because you are so scrumptious to look at.

                                              

The only reason I would want to live through the 80's as an adult

I was thinking the other day about how so many of the women I know within a few years of my age are pregnant.

And hey, in case my attempt at clever announcements were missed, I'm pregnant too!

I thought about how insane it is that so many of us are experiencing it at once, and how young we all are, and how we half-way feel like the phase of life we are going through should still somehow be beyond us.

Then I thought about how social media has tremendously changed this experience for women.

I mean, I went to school with a graduating class of over 400, so I am pretty sure there were some other women pregnant around the same time as my mom. But my mom didn't post pregnancy announcements on facebook for all of her old middle school acquaintances to be able to see. She just showed up at her 10 year reunion with four kids, and said, "As you can see, I've been busy!"

I am kind of jealous of that privacy. I am jealous that the moms of the generations before us got to feel a little more one in a million about being pregnant instead of feeling like, "How do I announce this in a new and creative way as to not get totally lost in the crowd of (wonderful and hopefully ecstatic) other people making the exact same announcement?"

Part of me wishes I was living this life 20 years ago when I only called my mom and my closest friends, and family found out through the grape-vine. But I don't.

I am not sad or upset that anyone else is pregnant; please don't misunderstand. I am simply trying to learn to still make this a precious and personal experience. I know, posting announcement to social media was absolutely my decision. I didn't have to, and I may choose not to in the future.

There are great things about it too. Being able to reach out to other moms online when I've felt clueless has been a big comfort.

I don't think there is any way for this post to not sound a little selfish, but I am a little selfish.

The end

Those times I missed it...

"it" being that thing that was meant to be obvious. 

I feel like I am a fairly intelligent person. I love to learn. I always did well in school. I am not super ditzy or anything (right guys...?). 

But then it takes me 18 years of being alive to realize that the symbol for the greatest store, Target.....is a Target. I just saw a solid circle inside of a hollowed out circle. facepalm. In my defense, Wal-Mart had a monopoly on the smiley face for a while, and there was no obvious connection there.



. . .
It takes me 19 year to finish Pumba's rhyme in the middle of Hanukah Matata. You know the one. "And I got down hearted. How did you feel? Every time that I Pumba! Not in front of the kids!" 

For years I remember thinking, "Huh. Every time that he what? I guess I will never know. Silly Disney people." 

I grew up in a home where flatulence was the go-to humor subject. Tell me, please, how I missed that one until I was a grown up.

. . .
U-haul....isn't just a coincidence. Its clever. You-haul it yourself. Yeah. I was old enough to be married to a very sad man shaking his head. 


. . .
Aaaaaaand Friday. June 28, 2013. Like, FIVE days ago. I was doing the dishes while listening to a Katie Perry song. Hot N' Cold. We all know it. In my duet with Ms. Perry I sang the line: "we used to be just like twins, so in sync", and I thought,"funny. That sounds like N'SYNC. I wonder if they...."

and I hung my head in shame.

Selfie courtesy of photobooth and 2008

Please tell me I am not the only one....