On Truth

The thoughts flying through my mind tonight wont settle.

They are unpopular.

It seems that everywhere I turn, I see this idea of relative truth. This idea that people can create truth individual to their own taste, or their own life. This ideology is smothering society's consciousness of real Truth.

Folks, Truth is black and white. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. Truth. Is. Truth, and will remain so even if there is no one left believing.

I do not pretend to have a full understanding of what all Truths are, but I know a God who does.

I know a God who has written Eternal Laws. These laws cannot, and will not change.

Part of me wishes that some of them could change. There are people that I love and admire that are gay. My admiration of them is sincere and total. Their sexuality in no way affects how I personally feel about them. I truly want them to find life partners, and be happy.

That being said, I would defend the law of Marriage being between a man and a woman every time because that is the law of God. I can not regard the opinion of anyone, no matter how high they may be in my esteem, more than I regard the word and laws of God.

I do not believe the Lord doesn't want gay people to be happy. I believe that He loves them, and understands them. I don't begin to understand why this particular law is what it is, and why it is such a struggle. But, it is Truth.

This is just one of many Eternal Laws that are being relitivized by today's society. 

I must live the Truth as I feel it in my heart. My Father in Heaven has proved himself to me too many times for me to doubt Him. His hand is simply too obvious in my life.

So, I stand for the Truth I know, and lovingly ask for understanding and acceptance.

I will grant the same to you.

The Most Sacred

I am finally trying to be brave again, so I want to write about something intimately important to me, Temples.

Temples are one of the biggest blessings that come along with being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Temples are amazing. Temples are sacred. Temples are special. The spirit of God dwells there, and it is impossible not to feel it.

I have had friends ask me questions about what we do there. Our experiences there are so sacred that we don't share details about the covenants or  ordinances we experience there. It isn't weird or crazy. Just sacred and personal.

We make covenants that require us to live righteously. We are instructed about the Lord's gospel. We do ordinances for the dead.

The dead people part creeps people out sometimes. Other people think that we force our religion on deceased persons by doing this. It isn't creepy or forceful. We look into our family history, perform the ordinances by proxy for those who have lost their bodies through death, and they have the opportunity to accept or refuse those ordinances.  We aren't pushy. The Lord has promised that every person will have the opportunity to accept His gospel, and this is part of how He keeps that promise.

The part that always leaves me feeling unexplainable gratitude is the fact that in the Temple I was able to be sealed to my husband forever. Time and eternity baby. And, as we have our children, they are bound to us eternally as well. If we live righteously and keep our part of the covenants and promises, our relationship will be always.

I can't imagine not having my C with me. Ever. Because of the temple, I never have to be without him, even after we go to the next thing after mortality.

Every time I leave the temple I feel empowered and more capable of dealing with my personal temptations and trials than I did when I went in. There is no better place to find peace, and escape from the trouble and pain and frustration of being human.

I love the temple.

 

I was hiding under a bush, so to speak.

Fear is something I have in abundance. I am afraid of a lot of things. Much to my chagrin, a lot of my fears have to do with what I think other people will think of me. Like every human being, I battle feelings of inadequacy. 

I'm working on it.

One of my biggest fears has always been talking about my faith. The faith that I have in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The faith that I have in Jesus Christ as my Savior, in living prophets, in studying the word of God, in serving people. I also believe in being good and kind to all people, no matter how they may differ from me. 

Growing up in Utah where the overwhelming majority of people went to the same church, meant that I took people's beliefs for granted. 

I was also afraid of putting my testimony, my soul out there on the line only to have it scoffed at or rejected harshly. 

Going to College helped me learn that even in Utah, people are diverse and believe many things. I also learned that there are a lot of non-Mormon people in Utah that find the church or some of its members annoying,overbearing, or even offensive. The idea of becoming that person scared me enough to almost never talk about religion with people outside of the Mormon community. We just talked about everything else instead. Occasionally friends would ask me questions, and I would answer them quickly, and try to move on in order to get out of the danger zone.

Facepalm.

I am trying not to be afraid anymore. 

I'm a Mormon. I adore being a Mormon. The knowledge of the Gospel gives me a foundation and a direction that I could not get anywhere else. I have a close relationship with a Heavenly Father who knows me very well, and makes his presence obvious in my life by answering my endless prayers, and extending tender mercies when I feel like I am nearing the end of my capacity to cope. 

I have now had the chance to have wonderful, non-scary talks with friends about my testimony. Even if they aren't that curious, so far, no one has been scary or unkind. Its not like we are talking about politics...its just religion right? :D

In order to help me really move past this dumbly immense fear I have created for myself, I am going to start posting once in a while about some of the things I love about my Faith. If spiritual things annoy you or make you uncomfortable, feel free to skip those posts. I won't mind. Don't worry about this blog becoming a bible school. Not going to happen. I will continue to make other posts as well. 

If you are ever curious about anything I post, please don't hesitate to ask me through the comments or an email. If you don't want to ask, the church's website holds many answers and resources. 

Here is to the end of fear.

This Book: Chapter Three

This chapter was titled "Humbleness of Mind", which is something in which I need much personal practice. There is a lot here, but, again, it is marvelous and enlightening. 

I want to emphasize,once again, that this is different from my normal posts, but it was something that because personally important to me. We will return to light heartedness tomorrow :)

Original post and explanation of this book here.

"Meekness of mind is essential, salvationally. It is likewise vital if we are to experience true intellectual growth and to heighten our understanding of the great realities of the universe. Such meekness is a friend to, not a foe of, true education."

If we look only at the outside things, we will miss what the scriptures tell us of the process of deepening discipleship."

"The meek make way for divine data even when these can be both dislocating of pride and startling to the intellect."

"...Great stress must be placed upon the need for intellectual meekens --'humbleness of mind.' Meekness is not a passive attribute that merely deflects discourtesty. Instead, it involves intellectual activism."

"Alas, most are quite content with a superficial understanding or a general awareness of spiritual things.(Alma 10:5-6) This condition may reflect either laziness or the busyness incident to the pressing cares of the world."

"Great knowledge in response to the great questions will alter how we view both great and small things, if we are intellectually honest."

"[Jesus] was meekly and spiritually submissive because He had first been intellectually submissive. Having first made room for great knowledge and great understanding, He later made room for greater responsibilities and awesome burdens. Unlike Him, some of us run from the implications and responsibilities of the doctrines in which we believe. Even when 'the judgments of God stare [us] in the face' (Helaman 4:23), some of us 'spurn at the doings of the Lord'(3 Nephi 29:4)."

"Thus meekness is so vital -- not only to introduce us to new knowledge but also to put down pride, which could keep us from facing and submitting to the implications of that knowledge, especially when responsibilities previously agreed to and understood must be finally me and endured will to the end"

"Intellectual meekness is a particular challenge, Without it, we are not intellectually open to things we 'never had supposed'". 

"Some wish to be neither shaken nor expanded by new spiritual data. It is quite a step, for instance, to move from passive belief in an immaterial, impersonal life-force god to a belief in a God who is indeed our Heavenly Father and in whose image we have been created. This latter God, the only true and living God, behaves just like a Perfect Father, loving us, reproving us, stretching us, teaching us, and, yes, making demands of us.

"It is also a major move from using one's doubts as a cover for errant behavior to having those doubts taken away by truth with the resultant need to humbly alter one's behavior."

"Meekness emancipates us from the prison of the secular mind, the proud mind."

"Those who are proud of mind demand extrinsic evidence...On the other hand, those who are humble and meek seek, by faith, to understand truth. They are comfortable with intrinsic as well as extrinsic evidence. They know that 'faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen' (Hebrews 11:1)."

If you made it through all of that, I would love to start a conversation with all of your thoughts on meekness and what it really means.

Weekend Wisdom (whenever walking wear weathered....sneakers?)

Ah, the satisfying feeling of using alliteration. Never gets old. Anyway.

wisdom begotten:

It is possible to whip up 2 quarts of rice pudding from the milk that is going to expire today, and eat all of it yourself in about 48 hours. Rice pudding and I have been having quite the affair for years now. 

Prayer works. It just does. It works with the biggest and smallest (like your child really really needing to fall asleep) things.

Having your home up on Skype in the background for four hours is definitely not excessive, and can make you feel like you are actually hanging out with your family.

My affection for Star Trek has not let me down. May it live long and prosper. (too much?) Also, this is the cause of my next item.

Benedict Cumberbatch. He needs no explanation.

This beautiful weather and these green landscapes are stealing my heart. 

This Book : 2

The chapter that I read for this week was titled "Leading in Meekness". As a person who has very rarely been in a leading position,it was harder for me to connect with, but it was still full of amazing things. I suggest you read the full chapter. He says some wonderful things about Churchill and some other leaders.

When I grow up, I am going to speak like Elder Maxwell.

"The pattern of having 'a form of godliness, but [denying] the power thereof' (2 Timothy 3:5) is sometimes expressed in weak faith or in a commitment to a passive god. Form Survives, but some will have nothing to do with religion as a force."

"The exercise of power requires an especially sharp and sensitive conscience, not a dull one."

Talking about Moroni's furious letter to Pahoran for not sending reinforcements at a difficult time in the war. (Moroni 60 & 61) :

"Pahoran's was not a resentful rejoinder lamenting the fact that Moroni was foolish without the facts. Pahoran did not engage in sarcasm or bitterness by lamenting that things were at least as rough for him as they were for Moroni and the army. He could have been sarcastic, saying he no longer had any throne to sit upon 'in a state of thoughtless stupor.' He could have justifiably boiled over at the accusation of his being a traitor, telling Moroni to do his job as chief captain and that Pahoran would do his job as governor. Instead, this exchange permitted these two leaders to rally themselves an their forces to retake the city." 

"Where individuals have said too much with too little data, meekness plays a very crucial, correcting role in what follows." 

Sidenote: Don't we wish people understood that last one when it came to politics?! And Doctor Who.

"Truly great individuals are not anxious to have themselves elevated."

"...Pride not only 'goeth before...a fall' (Proverbs 16:18), but pride also precedes a failure to ascend, spiritually."

"Leadership can call forth bossiness instead of meekness in a leader, if he is not careful."

"Perhaps, therefore, some who run away from discipleship do not do it out of badness but because of the impending demands of goodness."

"Nor does the meek leader forget the purpose of the Lord's work: to save, not count , souls. Did he who proposed to proceed so that 'one soul shall not be lost' hope to impress?(Moses 4:1)"

Chapter 1 Quotes Here

This Book

Is one that I have started multiple times. I am not sure how or why I have never been all the way through it because it isn't long, and it is so...good. 

It is the only book that I have had the urge to highlight more than is left unhighlighted. If the reader really takes to heart what good ol' Neal A. is trying to say, it can be transformational. 

As in, your life can change. 

Elder Maxwell had a way of putting things that requires a lot of dictionary use for me. He is so eloquent and thorough. 

To help myself not let this get put on the back burner again, every week I am going to share here some highlights from each chapter. I know this is a heavier topic than I usually blog about, but it is so personally important, that I would feel I was cheating if I didn't share.

.   .   .   .   .

Chapter One

"This is still the 'great queston' for mortals. Anciently, it was whether there shall be an atoning Jesus Christ. Now it is whether there was an atoning Christ who lived and who still lives. Other questions are insignificant by comparison, since an affirmative answer to the 'great question' eliminates the need even to ask certain lesser questions." 

"It is ironical even to write of the virtue of meekness, especially in a world so much taken up with assertiveness, aggressiveness, and selfish, insensitive individualism. This virtue will seem anachronistic in the world, which, ironically, is failing for want of it whether in high political places or in marriages and families." 

"It is not simply a matter of our having received mild encouragement to become meek and lowly. Rather, meekness is at the center of an astonishing invitation and commandment."

"Furthermore, in the exchange between Jesus and a righteous young man, we can see how one missing quality cannot be fully compensated for by other qualities, however praiseworthy."

"What the unmeek actually do is refuse to enter the realm of their own spiritual possibilities."

Speaking about Amulek in the Book of Mormon, "He is a classic case of an essentially good man being out of touch with the great spiritual realities; he resisted the things of the Spirit because, though he was basically good, he was preoccupied with the cares of the world."

"{This} is the Lord's church, and those who are too eager to steady it and too quick to focus upon a single issue or concern will fail to comprehend the important undergirding function of meekness that includes trust in the Lord."

"Meekness is neither alarmist nor shoulder-shrugging unconcern. It involves shoulder-squaring self-discipline, and what follows is the special composure that meekness brings."

It has ARRIVED

Spring that is. It came! We spent a glorious weekend showing M what grass feels like on the toes, what pickles taste like, and how to spot birds way up in that finally blue sky.

It was so good. 

I mastered the art of walking by very lonely looking yard sales without making eye contact with the people trying to reel me in with their will power to buy their things. Unless you are selling that Sprite that I am having a hankering for, I don't need any of those things at present.

We got to help with a baptism at our church. I have never helped with one that wasn't family, so it was neat! It was two hispanic girls, so the program was bilingual. The speakers did a fantastic job of keeping everyone involved and understanding. It is a wonderful thing to feel the spirit even when you don't understand through language what is being said. It was neat. 

Speaking of church, I went alone for the first time up here. Husband was sick, and I could 't take M and teach my 5 year old primary class. It was an interesting time. My four little boys are..... a handful. Never still. I was wishing with fondness for the Sunday a few weeks back when one of them was kind enough to point out with much surprise and exclamation that I have hair on my arms. A lot apparently.  It seemed that would be easier than pulling them back from walking on all fours in front of all the children with their shoes on their hands. 

We had a lovely rain storm roll in while we were having a cook out with some friends. It smelled gorgeous, and felt gorgeous, and made me forget that I was up in arms about Mav not taking ANY afternoon nap AT ALL. Heathen. 

It really was SO good.

I often forget

That this is what Christmas is.  This video brought me to tears this morning. I hope it can help you remember, as it did for me.

Merry Christmas.  

May we always let him in, and let his love fill our hearts
when all the world offers is coldness.

There are more inspiring videos here

We Believe

This woman is fantastic.

The End.

Remembering

The word remember is one that has great significance to me in my life for different reasons, but today I want to write about remembering people.


Yesterday was memorial day. Death is not something that I have had a lot of experience dealing with on a directly personal level. Only once. Only when my young grandpa of 65 died suddenly while at work doing a remodel of an old house. I remember the disbelief, and the denial, until I remembered that families are eternal, and we are all bound together, and the separation is temporary. It gave me such peace. I don't think any other knowledge would make watching my sweet grandmother on her lonely days bearable.

I have seen several good friends deal with death at an even closer proximity. Three of my best friends in the worlds have lost parents. Two to cancer, and one to a horrible accident. These three friends dealt with it in such an incredible way. They clung to the knowledge of the Gospel, and the fact that the rest of the time in this life without them will be less than a pinprick in the line of eternity.

I have often wondered what death would feel like without this knowledge. What if I had to question whether or not I would see my precious family again? My mind doesn't wrap around it. Every feeling in my body rejects the very thought or possibility. The pain is enough with the truth. I can truly understand people who never fully recover emotionally who don't know it. I can not express the gratitude I feel for my faith, and the knowledge it brings of eternal families. I need that eternity. I have a husband that I need to spend an eternity loving and knowing. A lifetime does not yield enough time to know a person completely.

So Grandpa, today I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about how on that last day I saw you, you woke me from my nap with one of my favorite whisker kisses. I remember your flannel shirts, and your hats that barely sat on your head. I remember how you could never tell a satisfactory joke because you would start laughing so hard before the punch line that you couldn't finish it. I remember everything. I love you. I will see you soon.
karlie jean

Beauty. So far to go.

My life changed a minute ago. I simply clicked here.

Watch how her husband treats her. How he holds her hand, and keeps his arms around her. One of the reasons this hit me so hard, and made me emotional, was because I have a man who loves me to that same degree, and who would do no less than stand by my side through anything. I want to have the courage of this woman so I can be worthy of the love that I receive so much of. What if I lost my pretty face? It wouldn't matter to him, and we could still accomplish incredible things, but would I be able to just move on? Am I too concerned with what the facade looks like?

I am. I want to change that.

I know that my Father in Heaven and my Redeemer are my reason for living. Jesus Christ lives, and is real. Sometimes I let myself get distracted from my purpose by things that are SO unimportant. Sometimes I get distracted from being kind to someone because I am too concerned about the way they speak, or look, or carry themselves. Sometimes I forget to treat people like they are children of God because they happen to be wearing something less fashionable than me , or they don't have my sense of humor, or they need to wash their hair.

What a waist of the breath that has been lent to me to accomplish good.
What abuse of the trust that has been placed on me in representing my faith and my God.
What missed opportunities to know people for what they are BEYOND their appearance.
What a disappointment I must have been at times. I don't want to disappoint Him anymore.

Be Still

Any of you that know me very well know that I am typically a very happy, goofy, gooberish sort of person. That has not been the case for the last couple of days. I have been an extremely quiet, somber kind of mood. I'm not depressed or anything, just....quiet.

Gordon B. Hinckley has 9 'Be's that a lot of you know about. In my state of pensiveness I have thought a little bit about one of them.

Have you ever sat back and considered what it means to 'be still'? This 'be' has always stuck out a lot to me and I have never quite known why. I think I am beginning to understand. Life is crazy. Reponsibility is crazy. School is crazy. Relationships of any kind are crazy. Even when you are working hard to have all of the right priorities in your life there are times when your mind never stops, and without realizing it you become exauhsted. You are so concentrated on doing good, that you let yourself get on overload. We would go crazy if we constantly lived our lives like this.

So, latley I've chosen to Be Still. I've shut my mouth a little more. I've tried to watch people a little more to see how I can help. I've meditated on my life and my blessings, and understood a little more of how blessed I am. I have been able to have a prayer more continually in my heart, and have had some good converstations with my favorite Man upstairs. He's actually quite a great Guy. :) He knows me pretty well, and helps me discover things about myself all the time.

If any of you are feeling overwhelmed, or like life is too crazy, or if you simply feel as if you need a way to feel closer to your Father in Heaven, try it.

Be Still.

I got to look

into the eyes of an Apostle of my Lord today. D. Todd Christofferson presided in the meetings of my home stake's stake conference. I grasped his hand in both of mine, and looked in his smiling eyes and said thank you. He looked directly back into mine and asked me my name. I told him it was Karlie Jean. I could see the love of Christ in his eyes. He is a man of God. Meeting with him made more firm my testimony of the Prophet Thomas S. Monson, his councilors, and the twelve apostles. How amazing that we have such men to govern us. I now have a new love and respect for this man. I hope I can say that I am forever changed by the spirit that he carried with him. That will depend on my diligence in acting on what has been revealed to me.

I know that Elder Christofferson will not remember my name among the hundreds that he greeted today, but I know my Father in Heaven and my Savior both know it well, and are mindful of me. I am grateful.

My Paper Family

For my sister Kim on her mission we all made paper portraits of ourselves. This is how we all turned out. This first one on the top is Wyatt. He is a football playing, hot dog weilding, big eyed, tooting goober.

This is Kade. He went to great lengths to make sure his construction paper hair looked just right. That is pretty much how it is in real life too. He's also basically in love with his guitar. I'd be surprised if he'd ever be able to love a girl that much, and trust me, he likes those a lot too.
This is Shane. Hehe. I like to call him Shane the Shirtless Wonder. It has almost become an official title around our house. While he was making this I had no idea how it was going to turn out. This is a pretty accurate presentation of what he sees when he looks at himself in the mirror..... :D Love you Shane.
This is mom. She is known under many names. Queen being first and foremost, there is also:camp director, master, the trap, oh and don't forget the greatest mom ever.
This is obvioiusly dad. He was concerned about making his bald spot look accurate. I think he did a great job. :) Just to clarify, the finger being held up is definitely a pointer finger, not the one often used for other, more obcsene hand signals. My dad is amazing. He is one of the most "larger than life" people that I know. I mean that in terms of his personality and qualities as well as his physical stature. Everyone loves him. Including me.