Some things about being back

Coming back to MN after dark, to a new house stacked with boxes, with a husband working at the opposite end of the state will make you want to cry a little. Or just make a u-turn for the airport to return to somewhere that doesn't make you feel sticky when you step outside.

It only take about 24 hours to get over the aforementioned wallowing , and the purchase of nutty bars, swiss rolls, and toffee ice cream bars definitely have a strong hand in that rebound.

Your toddler will feel like life is taking place in a magical new world because he has grass right outside his front door instead of a prison-like hallway. He also appreciates the newfound strength he has to crush rocks (dirt clods) with his bare hands, so don't worry about the dirt patches on the lawn. They are aiding in the construction of confidence.

Having wonderful friends is dee bayst. I know you don't want to seem moochy and needy, but lady, you're 8 months pregnant, and frankly, need all of the help anyone at all anywhere is willing to give you. Let them bring you dinner and unpack your kitchen. You will be so grateful.

Sleeping with a man in your bed isn't nearly as hard as you thought. Turns out your pregnant body didn't HAVE to take up all of that other space after all. 

Don't rake the entire yard at once. It will send you into contractions. Do half one day, and the other half on some other day.

Don't feel guilty about laying in bed for an hour after M wakes up. He got out of bed himself, and started playing with his toys himself. He's happy. You need rest. You can pick up every single toy he owns in about five minutes. Its okay if they get strewn about.

Those yoga pants that you stole from your mom? They fall down a lot. Try to only wear them at home.

Minnesota, its good to see ya.

The only reason I would want to live through the 80's as an adult

I was thinking the other day about how so many of the women I know within a few years of my age are pregnant.

And hey, in case my attempt at clever announcements were missed, I'm pregnant too!

I thought about how insane it is that so many of us are experiencing it at once, and how young we all are, and how we half-way feel like the phase of life we are going through should still somehow be beyond us.

Then I thought about how social media has tremendously changed this experience for women.

I mean, I went to school with a graduating class of over 400, so I am pretty sure there were some other women pregnant around the same time as my mom. But my mom didn't post pregnancy announcements on facebook for all of her old middle school acquaintances to be able to see. She just showed up at her 10 year reunion with four kids, and said, "As you can see, I've been busy!"

I am kind of jealous of that privacy. I am jealous that the moms of the generations before us got to feel a little more one in a million about being pregnant instead of feeling like, "How do I announce this in a new and creative way as to not get totally lost in the crowd of (wonderful and hopefully ecstatic) other people making the exact same announcement?"

Part of me wishes I was living this life 20 years ago when I only called my mom and my closest friends, and family found out through the grape-vine. But I don't.

I am not sad or upset that anyone else is pregnant; please don't misunderstand. I am simply trying to learn to still make this a precious and personal experience. I know, posting announcement to social media was absolutely my decision. I didn't have to, and I may choose not to in the future.

There are great things about it too. Being able to reach out to other moms online when I've felt clueless has been a big comfort.

I don't think there is any way for this post to not sound a little selfish, but I am a little selfish.

The end

Some times

One time I was so into a television show that I forgot to turn the burner off when I removed my finished ramen noodle dinner from the stove (We were still students, and Ches was waiting tables that night, so naturally that was what I was eating). A potholder was touching the burner. The apartment was completely filled with smoke before it tore my attention away from the screen in order to prevent my fiery death.

One time I didn't notice a hole in my black tights until we were on our way out the door to church. I grabbed a sharpie and colored my skin underneath to hide it. I took the marker with me in case the tights shifted. They did. C still teases me for walking around with big black marker moles on the back of my legs for a couple of days.

One time I dropped my phone on my one month old child's face. Avoid being over-zealous about baby photos.

One time I had to throw up (morning sickness ruuuuules) at the school before my students arrived. Apparently my skirt was a little tight because the slit ripped all the way up to my mid-bum. I had to waddle back to the classroom clutching my behind while trying to stay slinked against the walls. I re-learned two things, I can arch my back really well, and safety pins are a good tool.

 

Um.....not

This will be a short post, but it is long overdue.

Husband and I have been married for about 7 months. I swear, if one more person asks me when I am going to have a baby....

Or exclaims that I am probably pregnant when I feel the slightest bit less than 100%

I might....implode.

I truly do want children. I anticipate motherhood as the most glorious thing I will do. But really.

I do feel slightly guilty when my mother-in-law starts talking about how badly she wants grandchildren....Or when my own wonderful father talks about how awesome he will be as a grandfather.....poop.

Sorry. I'm not pregnant.