Breaking the first rule of time.

My enviably lovely friend Lacy wrote a post today that I completely love, so I decided to take a shot at being as lovely as she is by copying her (form of flattery...right?). 

To my 16 year old self,

Don't feel so intimidated by those "attractive" boys in the grade above you. You think that they think that you are a nerdy loser (wordy much?), but they don't think of you at all. Which is a-okay.

Be a little more reliable. I know you want to see everyone and go to everything, but your friends are going to tease you for years about being the flaky one. But, they will also stick around forever.

Please don't wear those cut off tights beneath your knee length shorts because you are embarrassed of your legs. You will get tired of people asking if you are a burn patient. Also,your legs aren't nearly as ugly as you think they are.

Those overalls you think are cool, really are pretty cool, but get them in a long.

Don't be sad that you don't have a boyfriend. You have the best and sweetest guy friends in the world, and you will date later. You'll have a boyfriend next year for a little while, and it isn't nearly as fun. Enjoy the freedom of being close to so many wonderful people in an unattached way.

Make more time to talk with your girlfriends. You will wish you had worried more about them and less about yourself.

Enjoy the crap out of that music. You will never be immersed in it like that again, and you will ache for it. Go for more solo's and sing louder with the radio because your voice will be out of practice before you know it.

Don't let anyone dissuade you from wearing that purple choir robe in your school picture. It totally goes with the parrot ear rings.

Also, try not to go outside looking like this.

Still haven't tried cheese on toast

But I do love this song.

I love that it is a breakup song that isn't bitter or all about putting on a tough facade while you implode inwardly. or being so mad that you vandalize your ex's apartment or car so badly that you could be arrested for it, but are obviously totally justified. Whyyyyy? 

Love songs and break up song are on one end or the other. I am so in love with you after meeting you an hour ago that I am taking you home with me tonight, or we just had a bitter break up after dating for two weeks, and I am never going to have any meaning in my life eveeeeeeeeeeer!

There isn't much out there that talks about love or heartbreak in a realistic way that can help people deal with in real life. I love what this song says. I liked you. I know you liked me. You dont' anymore, but I learned some cool stuff from you, and I am going to be okay. 

I dealt with all of my breakups in this very composed manner (no I didn't). I am sure glad I never have to experience a break up again, but this song has still made it on to our morningly dance play list.

Not to stereotype...

But husband and I recently had a conversation of which the catalyst was this statement:

"I could have been the trench coat kid." 

Let me rewind. We had been on a walk a few weeks earlier into a part of town we hadn't walked before. We didn't see anyone the entire time until we were just around the corner from our street, and about a block ahead of us was a teenage boy in a trench coat that looked like he was carrying a bag of books. There are kids that look just like this in every town, just as surely as there is the kid with the flat brimmed hat, and the really loud bass in his car.

I told Ches that if I was that boy, and there had been people walking behind me for a few blocks, I would totally think that I was being deliberately followed, and was in danger (I may or may not think this when the same car is behind me for more than five minutes on the road). 

As soon as I finished saying the word danger, the kid started running. He kept running. We didn't see him stop running because we turned off on to our own street. I laughed hard, and then I started thinking about the trench coat kid.

We all know the kids in high school that were still into pokemon and anime and twenty book fantasy series. There is nothing wrong with liking anime. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a fantasy book. There is nothing wrong with feeling dapper in a trench coat(I think David Tennant proved that rather successfully). So, where did this whole persona come from? 

This is how the conversation was going. And then I stopped, looked at Chesley, and said,"I could have been the trench coat kid."

I realized that it is all about enjoying imagination and fantasy and other worlds, which we all do to some extent when it comes to entertainment. The trench coat kid happens when their reality is bad enough, that they refuse to completely leave the fantasy world behind. 

Sometimes the negative in their reality is something they see only because they are a teenager. But, most of the time, these kids have it so much rougher than we realize. Home is not a happy place. They have more responsibility than someone their age ever should. There is no way for us to know for sure. 

The only reason I wasn't a trench coat kid is because the reality I came back into after I spent time in these other worlds was good. It grounded me. 

Point, smile kindly at the kid with the trench coat. Try not to make him think that his lovely afternoon walk to return his library books has taken a sour, potentially life threatening turn.

I got over the age, but not the song

This song is one of my soul songs. One of the songs that seems to be in my bones you know?

I was probably 13 when I heard this song for the first time. I was having some turmoil of the heart, and thought things could never feel worse. I was crushing on a boy h-a-r-d and he liked one of my closest friends. I was feeling overlooked and unwanted as only a 13 year old girl can (seriously, how did I manage to make everything feel so tragic?). 

I would go home, put this song on repeat, throw myself on my bed (like in Beauty in the beast when she gets locked in her room for the first time. It was a really good body throw. It takes talent to not do neck damage with this kind of action).

Somehow this song put into feeling the right kind of sadness I was feeling. I wanted someone to feel this way about meeeeeee. 

And now, I just love it. Partly for nostalgic reasons, partly because Mr. Withers has an incredible voice, and partly because it is just a good song. That is three parts. Enjoy.