Dufi

Warning: Soap Box

2012-02-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

Feeling "beautiful" or "attractive" is something women seem to be obsessed over, and I am definitely not exempt from those thoughts.

I have sometimes found myself wishing I could just look a little more like this person, fit into those jeans like that girl does, or have the same hair as that fabulous lady. Always someone to be admired. Always someone who seems more glamorous that myself.

Why do we do this? Its infernally dumb.

So I'm a solid size 12, and not the 8 I would like to be. I can STILL be beautiful, and I can work to look more healthy.

So I will have awkward "growing out" hair for the next year or so. It will give the chance to be funky and creative. I've always loved that.

So husband will always weigh less than me, even if I achieve that size 8. He tells me I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I need to believe him, and stop telling him that it doesn't count because he has to say that. I am to him, and that is all I need.

Being pregnant has had the opposite affect on my self image than I would have supposed. I thought I would be ashamed with the weight gain, and change of body size, but I find myself more satisfied with who I am and how I look than ever before.

I hope it carries over to after the little guy gets here.

Bedtime Conversations: Part 4

2012-02-28T08:39:00.001-08:00

Large yawn.

Me: Can you see my uvula?

Husband: Yes. I always knew you were a girl.

Between Legs

2012-02-27T20:01:00.001-08:00

For me, finding out the gender of our baby was like turning it into an actual person, rather than some growing bubble that didn't seem would ever be real.

I have been more excited about how my life is about to change in the last week, than any time since the moment I sat squatting on the bathroom floor in late September to see that little plus sign on the stick I didn't want to touch because it had pee on it.

(I didn't pee on it while it was on the floor, but I promptly put it there, so I could wash my hands.)

We have started seriously discussing names, and in order to choose we are referring to him by the different names to see how we feel about them. (Thanks for that suggestion Chenyl.)

When we got home from the clinic, I instantly got on the internet and started looking at little boy clothes.

I am very picky. Good thing my mother-in-law is an amazing seamstress.

They don't sell baby tweed pants anywhere.

So, in case you haven't heard or guessed, our little one is sporting boy parts.

And boy, was he glad to show them to us.

Casa de Lewis de Brigham

2012-02-22T12:00:00.059-08:00

It is due to the acquisition of the lovely things below that I have had such an extended absence from my blog.

I am not a big "change" person, and there were a lot of things about this move that I was nervous about. My nervousness was silly (as usual), and the only negative things about this entire experience has been the gas bill.

Here are a few of the loveliest things I have found about my new little home so far.

I'm not sure why, but I am in love with these horizontal panels.

This little goose guy keeps me company over my sink whenever I feel like doing dishes. Needless to say even though I like him, we don't spend a lot of time together.

This is the first time I have been lucky enough to have a separate little dining space. It is just offset from the kitchen, and only feels like its own room because of the partial walls, but it makes me happy.

Most of the doors have these old key holes.

I can see the weather outside by sitting inside and looking out.

It makes me feel like a child imagining a new world of my own.

Look at this beautiful doorknob and keyhole.

Why don't they make everyday things so beautiful anymore?

I wish very much that I had the old set of keys that went to this house.

My favorite thing of all is the view I have out of my front window.

The light is beautiful both in the morning, and evening.

The mountains seem to be part of me, and I love being so close to them.

Other People's

2012-02-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

spills, stains, toots, pee, and bums. That is what has always stained my kitchen chairs.

We picked them up for free from one of our old apartment buildings when they were going to throw them out after buying new dining sets for all of the apartments.

They have always been sturdy, but the upholstery was so abused, that I almost wanted to take a bath after sitting on them.

After two years of sitting on them, husband is relieved that we can start doing dishes in the kitchen sink rather than with me in the bath tub.

Just kidding. That would be REALLY gross.

Thanks to my angel mother-in-law they no longer look like this.

I am not sure why anyone ever thought this fabric was a good idea.

The foam was rotting and fally-aparty as we pulled out the millions of staples.

The mid-stages were very anti-climatic. All I got to see was these holy boards.

But I was not disappointed

The dining room carpet is something we can talk about a different time.

Aren't they like NEW?!?

My derriere has never been so pleased.

Turkey Timer Started

2012-02-20T12:36:00.000-08:00

Now that there is movement and actual tummy protrusion, pregnancy is starting to be something I'm enjoying rather than forgetting, and thinking my body is just revolting against me.

This baby does an amazing impersonation of a gas bubble.

Yoga pants are my best friend.

I never thought having a belly would make me feel adorable. This one does.

I never thought shopping would give me an anxiety attack. Husband had to remove me from a maternity store last weekend before I burst into tears. I'm working on thinking it was funny.

I'm already planning the morning playlists that will serenade us each morning while I make breakfast, and teach my little one the joys of shameless dance parties.

Loving Re-entry

2012-02-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

This is how I know I married the best one.

He cut those hearts himself. Out of paper. Green paper none the less.

He heard me say once that I wanted to read this book.

So now I have it.

And this is the message he had put in the flowers he sent to school for me.

Just so you know, I did not assign him that title.

He is self appointed.

Access: DENIED

2012-01-26T15:03:00.000-08:00

We moved. We don't have internet. I'm itching to tell you about so many things.

I'll pretend like you love my blog so much that you have to be patient with my absence.

It makes me feel neat.

Also, I need to find a moisturizer that will help my tummy not get stretch marks.

Also, "Once There Was a Snowman" is a killer thigh work out. Those 4 year olds were trying to kill me.

Living at home isn't THAT bad

2012-01-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah, having our own place sounds appealing and everything.

Then I remember that moving would mean I need to take up cooking again.

This kitchen episode comes back to my mind, and I decide privacy is over-rated.

At least here we get good food.

Husband says he's willing to go back to our corndog and chicken nugget diet.

I'm not so sure yet.....

I began to be astonished

2012-01-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

and then after a couple of weeks, stopped being astonished at the following things.

1. Feeling an insane amount of pressure on my bladder, only to yield 4 oz. of pee.

(sorry if this is too explicit for your liking)

2. The need to eat every 2 hours.

3. My complete aversion to chocolate.

WHAAAAAAT? You mean that bag of dark dove chocolates tastes nasty?!

I must console myself with a bowl of sherbert.

4. My love of all things fruity and tangy.

I swapped all of my Christmas chocolate for starbursts and nerds.

I have eaten an entire bag of clementines in the last week.

5. The fact that I don't look pregnant, just chubbers.

I am still trying to be motivated to be active.

It is not impossible.

Just not easy.

Maybe I'll go do some Pilates now.

After I find a snack.

A Sandwich

2012-01-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

After six weeks of teaching,

about a quarter of my students still don't know my name.

I've reverted to refusing to respond to students who call me "teacher", "hey, you", or some of them just whistle.

"I am not a dog," I tell them.

I'm just "the sub"

However, I'd be a sandwich over a bum-sniffer.

Sanuk So Supplely Stepping

2012-01-12T15:48:00.000-08:00

My good friend Ash has been trying to convert me to this particular brand of footwear for some time.

Her argument was locked into my mind when she said she wore them in Disneyland for 3 straight days, and never had any problems with her feet.

I always thought they were cute, but in my tight-wadiness, could never get myself to pay the 50+ dollars for a little canvas shoe.

I repent completely.

While doing some after Christmas shopping, I was fortunate enough to find some beautiful butter-yellow Sanuk's on the shelf at Ross. $17. My mind went back to my beloved yellow Wal-Mart shoes that husband sneakily threw into the dumpster on moving day. (I was completely aware of the smell. That is why they were left outside)

I immediately flung aside all of the other items I had stacked in my arms in order to grab them. They were my size. They were the only pair in the entire store. The shoe gods had laid my path and smiled upon me so fiercely that I'm sure their cheek muscles were throbbing.

I, Karlie Jean Donovan Lewis, am a believer. The destination of my new conviction?

Disneyland.

Bunk Fever

2012-01-11T18:48:00.000-08:00

It has been charming, but we are definitely hoping to vacate it soon, and once again have more than 168 Square feet for our personal living space.

This is the thing. Ches will continue to work in Midvale, I will continue to work in Brigham city, so we are trying to find something in-between.

We have different ideas of what in-between should mean. Shucks.

There are definitely things I will miss about this little place when we get it all figured out. But....

This guy will unfortunately will not give me the chance to miss him.

He's coming with us.

He is not my best friend.

Craftistic

2012-01-10T18:54:00.000-08:00

I saw different versions of this idea all over pinterest.

(The site that has commandeered my life.)

My father is a scrabble fanatic.

The kind of fanatic that checks

his facebook scrabble games 2-6 times a day

So, for his birthday I gave this a shot.

He wanted it to look close to the original scrabble tiles.

They were maroon with cream lettering.

Not to bad for a non-crafty, but very loving daughter.

SPOY-led

2012-01-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

The holidays (or maybe my family) were very good to me.

Chesley's Cousin Colton, and Aunt Mary even contributed.

I feel so lucky.

Of Those I Admire...

2011-12-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

My life may be less glamorous,

but no less lovely.

My talents less obvious,

but no less useful.

My life situation less immediately desirable,

but no less adventurous, or certain.

I may be less witty and humurous,
but I'm no less funny
(at least to my husband).

I am karlie jean donovan lewis,
and my life may be less,
but it is no less.

I might be doing that cliche kissy face, but it is only with half of my mouth.

So it doesn't count.

Similar...but very different

2011-12-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

I ran out of stamps

2011-12-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!
(click it to see us in our full shameless glee)

We hope you are as excited and giddy with happiness as we are!

Duh

2011-12-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

I am going to have to start some weekly blogging tradition to tell you what I hear come out of the mouths of these students as they walk to and from class. But this is what hit my funny fancy for today...

Dude! Did you know that Asian Gifts sells brass knuckles!?

I certainly do now. Thank you 16 year old boy in severe need of a haircut and a good day of hard labor.

I probably didn't really....

2011-12-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

call one of my students chubby....oops. He asked me if something I said to him was a fat joke. I said yes. He didn't think it was very funny.

told one of my students I made him do something because he was Mexican....he laughed. Phew.

left my phone ringer on....every other day...embarrassing. My class is now very familiar with the Dr. Who theme song.

leaned back too far in my office chair and made a high decibel clatter keeping myself from plummeting backward to the floor..... during silent reading time. No one was hurt.

*Clarification. I am not racist. I know many Mexican's that I think very highly of. Again, I asked him to stop a behavior, and he jokingly asked if I was calling him out because he was Mexican. I said yes.

Chubby Secrets #1

2011-12-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

So, I'm getting chubby. Marriage + Stress does that. And lately, It hasn't really bothered me that much.

I've been too busy and stressed out to do much about it. I'll get to it when my life settles down, and I am used to my new routine.

(You fitness fanatics who are reading this, stop scolding me with your minds this instant. I really can't handle one more thing. Its either sleep or work out.)

But, my pants are getting tighter, and they put pressure on my stress-nauseated tummy, so...

I wear big shirts, and live with my pants unbuttoned.

Do you have any idea how free of a feeling it is to not button your pants? Amazing.

At a time that is not this time

2011-11-30T16:44:00.000-08:00

people will be good to each other, no matter their differences.

I just watched this video , and was amazed by the different cultures coming together, sharing their differences in a positive way, and focusing on something they have in common.

Why are people in the world so incredibly intolerant? Why is it so easy to recite the golden rule, but so seemingly impossible to actually live that way?

Personally, I think we should just love people because they are people.

I am not saying we should be blind to poor decisions or anything like that, but can't we even love people who make poor decisions? Can't we love people who believe something different than we do? Can't we love people who look different?

There is so much animosity in society that it makes me want to hole myself up in a mountain cave, and befriend only the mountain animals. Especially the ones that won't eat me.

On Maturing

2011-11-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

It is 100% over-rated.

I don't mean that we should all act like we are 13 years old again. I don't want to worry about boobs, braces, boys, or bratty friends.

I am glad I know how makeup should be applied, that Payless shoes are just as cool as the name brand, and that I don't have to check in with my parents when I get home late at night.

I simply mean that we should never get to the point where we take ourselves too seriously.

Laugh at yourself. Dang it.

Befriend a teenager enough to remember what it was like to be one. Listen to some old school Brittney Spears or Spice girls, and see if those old feelings and dance moves come rushing back again.

Conclusion:

Pay your bills. Be good to your children. Love your other half. Don't get traffic tickets....and laugh when you forget.

Holga Attempt #2: Malad

2011-11-13T17:09:00.000-08:00

Samson, the puppy

The Clouds

Bow Hunting Skills

Bowl of Fruit

Waving Flag

Peter Pan Bleach Shirt. I made it.

Cool Rusty Chair

Fidelity

2011-10-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

My lips were unfaithful to husband's today.

They couldn't help it. They were put into a dire situation.

When I hopped into the car of my carpool buddy this morning at 6:45 my lips were parched.

At 6:46 I realized I didn't have any chapstick, or lotion, or anything that could soothe them.

I felt them shrivel further at 7:00, 7:10, 7:20.....

(at 10:45 I cursed the fact that I was wearing my demon shoes as I almost took another tumble)

and every ten minutes for the remainder of the eight hour work day.

By the time I left the school at 3:30 it was a miracle I wasn't completely lip-less after all of the dryness and shriveling they had experienced throughout the day.

They were desparate.

When I got home......to my shame....

they made-out with the Carmex tube

Pepper chunks

2011-10-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

...from that heavily peppered elk jerky are stuck between my top molars.

husband is off paint-balling in Mesquite with a bunch of grown men who insist on continuing to play their prepubescent games.

I have vanquished (thank you Charmed for placing that work into my often-used vocab) at least 10 bugs in my room today. They are everywhere.

That heavy-duty sticky stuff does not work. Stuff keeps nearly falling on my head at night.

I go into the classroom on Monday, and I only have two lessons planned....oops.

I smell. I haven't showered. I haven't brushed my teeth (should I admit that part? Its super gross)

But....
I have had a wonderful day!
I rode my bike for 5 beautiful miles.
I got into a battle of whits with my younger brother, and totally lost. I was laughing so hard.
Ate a chocolate chip cookie (yes. yes it is ALWAYS going to include food.)
and....drumdrumdrumdrumdrumdrum

I got this new space!
It is my grandfather's old desk, and the smell of the drawers remind me of playing in his office as a little girl.
He left us still a young man of 65. He's been gone for a while, and I sure miss him.
Isn't it beautiful!?

ness of happy

2011-10-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

There is an ice cream bucket full of fresh salsa waiting to be consumed by myself.

Husband is no longer sick. I have never seen such ruby red vomit in my life.

There is a pumpkin on the front porch that is just waiting to be carved by these artistic (i try) hands.

There are pumpkin seeds over there in a bowl that were a reward for having chaperoned a delinquent date. They are roasted. And delicious.

After 7 weeks of student teaching for a virtual academy, I am actually getting into a classroom on Monday! I am excited and terrified. excified. territed, if you will.

I love them

2011-10-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

Look at my family

Aren't they so good looking?! And fun?! And WONDERFUL!!!

cough. Sorry. Bragging terminated.

It is an interesting phenomenon to be dwarfed by your 14 year old brother.

Especially when he has a flowy mullet. Sick.

But Seriously.

The Way

2011-10-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yea, How long will ye suffer

yourselves to be led by foolish and

blind guides? Yea, how long will

ye choose darkness rather than light?

(Helaman 13: 29)

Sometimes I look at what is happening in the world,

and I feel hopeless.

Then, I make myself step back

and look at the wonders God has placed on this earth

and remember that Jesus Christ

Has made the path known.

And then I hope again.

That List

2011-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

A while back, while recovering from the loss of the 9th Doctor, I wrote and mentioned "The List".

I wrote that I might write about it sometime, and I think that time is overdue.

Disclaimer: "The List" is constantly in flux, and is mostly full of men who don't actually exist.

These are the men about whom I might express my feelings as Ashley once did about Kevin Bacon.

And I quote, "If Kevin Bacon were to walk in here right now and say, 'Hey, lets make out,' I'd do it."

We say this being fairly, and mostly positive that we would not actually make out with them (we really do adore our husbands), but would just stare, and stammer, and maybe steal a photograph with their arm around our shoulders, and our thumbs very high in the air.

Without further ado:

The List

As Presently Constituted

4th Runner up: Mr. Knightly played by Jeremy Northam
He may be replaced by Mr. Rochester played by Michael Fassbender quite soon.

So handsome, and such the gentleman.

Seriously, have you seen how tender he his?

3rd Runner Up: The Doctor played by David Tennant

First of all, he has KILLER hair. It gets me every time.

And also, he just looks so good in that suit with his Chucks.

And he saves the world practically ever day.

The accent has never hurt him either....

2nd Runner Up (today, tomorrow David might be 2nd again) Leo Wyatt played by Brian Krause

No, Leo is not a cowboy, but.... I like cowboys. Also, I do not support smoking. Not attractive.

Leo is a character from the show "Charmed"

You should know by now that all of my internal organs are made of nerd.

Anyway, Leo fixes things, has great hair, wears sweaters,

and his smile...KILLS ME.

I couldn't find a picture that would convey its swoony-ness to you.

The #1 Slot holder is (and has been for some time now): James Bond played by Daniel Craig

Cowboys. Right?

He has come the closest to making me crush on the man rather than the character.
I know it is about 80% the eyes, 15% the attitude and poise,
and I know you don't believe when I say 5% speedo bod.
Showing off that much of his body while splashing in the waves of the ocean is cheating,
most people look, if not more attractive, at least more exotic when wet.

And as pretty as they all are, none of them compare to husband.
He is real. He gives kisses. Good ones.

I woke up

2011-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

on this beautiful conference Saturday

to this face.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I am so lucky. He is so handsome. It makes me giggle to myself sometimes.

I mean, he took off the bow-tie and jacket before crawling in bed last night, and may have a slightly peeling sunburn on his face, but who cares!

I also get to sit next to him for the next two days and listen to the Lords servants update us on the Big Man's plans. You can watch it or read about it here.

I get to hold his hand, and hug him, and kiss him on the mouth. Sigh.

I'm done being grossy mushy now.

But just know, that I hope you have one, or get one like mine, and mine, and mine.

I could take him...

2011-09-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

This young man....

will be home from his deployment in Afghanistan in just a couple of weeks. He is almost back to a base in the states.

I will be so glad to have him back.

However,

Don't let this innocent looking, lion loving, photograph deceive you. He is a menace to my life.

If you have a brother-in-law that is close enough to your own age to be a twin that needed some extra time in the oven...you know.

Mostly, he just needs to see what will happen next time he shoves a carefully ketchup dipped corn dog up my nose....

A Draft

2011-09-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is a draft I wrote as an example for some of my 10th graders that are working on their own autobiographical incidents. More of myself ended up in it than I intended. All of a sudden it became a draft of my progress toward being what my husband deserves, and what a person is meant to be in a relationship.

Forgive my lack of skill in writing. After all, this is my first draft of this piece, and at being married, and at life, and we all know that first drafts always need revision and care.

The breeze created by my own movement fingered through my boyishly short hair. The perfect summer evening temperature slammed into my body as I pedaled in an effort to pummel into as much of it as possible. Why had I ever gone a moment without owning a bicycle? This rolling momentum that is so much more smooth and rapid than walking was something I hadn’t experience since I was a child.

I smiled widely to myself at the glimpse of my last memory on a bicycle. I had probably been about ten, and in an attempt to impress myself and some of the neighbor kids, I tried to pop a wheelie. The bolt on my front wheel had become loose, and as I lifted it off the ground it slid away from the bike frame and rolled right away. I crashed. I was embarrassed. Ouch on my body and my ego. That must be why I stayed away from this marvelous modem of transportation for so long. Now that I had decided to take it up again, it was definitely was worth the risk. The neighbor kids were grown up and gone away. I no longer felt the need to impress.

I rode between the church and the old Masons’ Temple. The duskiness of the outside light, and the oldness of the streets and buildings as they whisked by at a medium speed, left streaks of themselves in my mind, and made me laugh out loud with a child-like happiness. I began to reflect on why I had not felt this happiness all day. It was my birthday after all, and who doesn’t deserve to be gleefully happy on their birthday? Only bad guys, and I was decidedly not one of those.

I thought back to walking out of my little home that morning and seeing the beautiful minty-green and white beach cruiser parked in front of my door. I had gone to bed upset, and I woken up upset, and I didn’t want to go back in and thank him. But I did because that would have been heartlessly rude. But I stayed upset.

He tried to take me on a birthday date, and I said, “No. We don’t have money”. As he protested that we would manage, and he would find a job soon, I said, “I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to not really work at finding a job, and definitely before you decided to spend money on video games”. That was all. Then I turned back to the sink full of dishes and put my pouty face on. He kissed me on my forehead, said Happy Birthday, and walked away.

I hadn’t thought about the fact that he hadn’t bought anything for himself in some time. Not about the fact that he has only played video games perhaps 10 times in the few years we've been together. I hadn’t thought about the fact that he was as stressed as I was. I hadn’t thought about the fact that looking for a job in a small town only provides so many options, and he was doing what he knew to do. I didn’t let him take me out.

Now it was a few hours later, and I was finally getting my first ride on this thoughtful and beautiful gift he had given me. I rounded the block by the house and immediately felt ashamed that I had behaved as I did. He had given me a gift that helped me drive my stress from my mind, and made me feel like a kid again, and I had given him some snappy words and a bad attitude. He had still been so loving.

I made a final loop and let the hands of that breeze pass over the surface of my face one more time. The light of the sun going down over the swampy horizon shot out brilliant shafts of orange, pink, and purple. I pedaled that brand-new contraption back into the carport, crossed the front yard, and went to find my husband for a big fat kiss.

Things I wish I was half of: A List

2011-09-08T20:32:00.000-07:00

Elvish: I don't want to be full Elf, because who really wants to live forever. I just want to look super young always. Also, their ears are the greatest.

Antelope: I don't think I've ever posted about my inability to run, let alone do it in a graceful fashion.

Narnian: Don't you wish you know what that horse was saying right before you got booted off?

Genius: Not full, because sometimes a lot they turn out awkardish. I only want to be award enough to keep superficial people away.

Horse: Because centaurs are cool.

Actress: Then I could be in Dr. Who and pretend it is super real without getting all caught up in that yucky fame nonsense. Also, I nominate myself for leading lady in the next (G-rated) James Bond movie)

Mad: You see so many things you wouldn't see otherwise

We should have washed his basketball shorts

2011-09-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Buzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That was the mosquito. In my face. In the dark.

Wife: We're probably going to get bitten in the face ALL NIGHT.

Husband: I HATE these stupid bugs.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzz. buzzzz. buzzzzzzzzz.

Husband: AAAAAARGH!!!

Wife's face gets whipped by the corner of a lava-lava leaping out of bed.

Lights flash. Chord whipped out. Connections connected.

Result:

Also results:

Wife's incessant "drunken with sleep" giggling.

Dead bugs.

Gained knowledge that said lava-lava gives husband a nice contour of the buttock. Wife did not think this was possible. She is pleased.

I'm Not Quite Ripe

2011-08-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

Aren't they all pretty?

They are mine.

A (almost) direct (practically) unedtied journal exerpt

2011-08-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

Friday was a last day in a very comfortable place in my life. It was my last day working at the USU Bookstore. I was fine most of the day. Most of the day passed as a normal day, and then at about 4:30, when I started going through all of the steps for the last time, as I hurried around doing last minute errands, my throat got real tight. Then I started thinking about Hannah and Ash, who have been two people huge to my life, and the tight throat problem started to make my eyes watery. Stuart got me my very own bag of chocolate animal crackers, and that just about started a water works on its own.

I am not going to miss that [bad word] job, but I am going to sorely miss the people.

And...I already miss the time in my life that job represents to me. Prism, ratex. Book-it, FedEx, telephone headsets, announcements, dumb customers, [specific dumb customer], Drake, sicky break room, headless mannequins...these things represent the free, single, college life that I so thoroughly enjoyed. All of the aspects of that life started to slowly change one by one, but that bookstore was ever painfully the same.

Now that is gone, and I realize that my life has completely shifted positions, kind of like plate tectonics, minus the earthquakes, without me taking notice.

Touche life. Duly noted.

Holga Attempt #1

2011-08-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Bedtime Conversations: Part 3

2011-08-13T16:52:00.000-07:00

Ches: Will you rub my back? I have a weird knot in the middle by my spine that doesn't feel too good.

Me: Yeah come here. What'd you do?

Ches: I think I slept funny.

Me: Well, you should try sleeping serious.

Ches: Um....

Me: Well, at least I think I'm funny.....

I, am the sin child of anomaly and oxymoron

2011-08-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

My name may as well be Oxyano, or malymoron, or neither of those. Those are bad names.

I love to write, but have a hard time finding words. They hide from me. In meanly difficult places to find. The pages stay blank.

I wish to never grow up and be responsible, yet I keep willingly increasing my speed toward grown up things like a career, and paying loans, and having babies (not an announcement), and buying that perfect house that will accommodate all of my interior design plans that I've found on pinterest.

I currently work at a job where I sit, and sit and sitsitsitsit. There is very little physical or mental exertion required of me, yet when I get home at the end of the day I am just too tired to cook or exercise, or journal, or blog, or do that list of things that has been undone for a month. Doing nothing all day is H-A-R-D.

When my hair is long I want it short, when my hair is short I want it long. At least I am a normal woman in that regard.

I secretly long to be recognized for my vocal skills, but refuse almost every offer or opportunity to showcase myself. They might not think I am as good as I think I am. Maybe that agent looking for the next best artist will desperately need to use the bathroom while driving through Corinne, Ut, happen upon my parents house because they always go off the main road looking for bathrooms in residential areas, come at 6:30 in the morning when I have my daily concert for the shower head and hundreds of empty shampoo bottles (who doesn't have to pee in the morning right?), place their ear to the door and find me. I'm crossing my fingers.

I will enlighten you of the other traits my dear mum, maly and dad, moron have given me as I trip over them as I walk over that completely flat surface.

My Mind Has Run Out Of Words

2011-07-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

Which is a tortuous ailment for someone who loves words so.

So I will show you. This is summer. This is some of the happy pieces of my life.

2011-07-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

I have felt a little suffocated for the last couple of days. Suffocated by monotony. By a neglected creativity and intellect. By small spaces and inactivity.

I want to go on a camping trip and hike and play in the river.

I want to make a list of random activities, and pull one out of a hat to do everyday.

I want to write a short story, and creat a visually pleasing something.

Oh. Okay. I can do those things. That was easy.

If only losing those unwanted pounds seemed so manageable......

On the bright side, I just got these.

And in them, I look super.

I like it anyway

2011-06-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

My life is in transition

an awkward one.

Transition from childhood to puberty kind of awkward.

Move back in with the parents kind of awkward.

Oops I thought I locked the bathroom door, but I obviously didn't because you just saw me on the toilet kind of awkward.

Fine Features of Our Finite Flat

2011-06-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Alliteration. Sigh. So satisfying.

Our lives are now contained within four cinder block walls. They are squished, but they feel like home now. I shall share them with you.

Wall #1 The West Wall...
Features:
Dresser
Tie rack (Accented by the lovely "Nuns Having Fun" Calendar)
Fireplace (This is my favorite feature of the west wall. It inspires a cottage like coziness)
Laundry Collection
Wardrobe/Closet ($50 at IKEA. Sweet right?!)
Paintball Stuff Storage
(Not Pictured: The loft)

Wall #2 The North Wall...
Features:
Plastic storage bin
Bookshelf (My favorite feature of the north wall. A library in the making.)
Vacume
Bed side table
Most fluffiest of beds of all time
Back right surround sound speaker

Wall 3 The East Wall...
Features:
Mostly the most fluffy bed
Smaller bookshelf with the boring stuff
But also...Window (host to my stain glass lamp and scentsy pot. Don't mind the chords.)
Decorative shelf (Featuring:African mask and fertility dolls, The Living Christ, an original Kelly Donovan painting, The Family, A Proclamation to the World, cool glass bottles, front left surround sound speaker.)

Wall #4 The South Wall...(The least attractive and least loved wall)
Features:
The beloved 42' inch T.V.
Entertainment center
Clock
Door
Basket of things that should really be put away
Garbage
Mini-window with the A/C unit
Also, The front right surround sound speaker

And that is our grand tour!

Yay for tight spaces.

It makes the love grow right?

And as a parting gift...
My favorite special feature EVER

The skylight
Goob threw a snowball through it 3 years ago.
He hurried and fixed it exactly as you see it before the parentals got home.
They didn't find out for two years.
Never leaked a drop.

Secret Pockets

2011-06-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while.

Bashful face.

Sorry.

Here are the treasures that were in my (new) purse after my magical trip to New York City.

1. My wallet, which I could do a post about all in itself because I love it so much. Isn't it preeeety?

2. Super Mario themed candy tins. Sadly they are no longer in my possession.

3. The Book of Mormon. My days just don't go quite right if I don't have my nose in there for at least a few minutes, so I take in everywhere with me.

4. The Ipod. Word.

5. I have this with me at all times. The Sonic Screwdriver. If you don't know....shame, shame on you.

6. The program for WICKED!!!! I smiled like my mouth was stuck that way. Happy. That's what I was.

7. The New York Yankees pen that I was given and instructed (with slow and carefully articulated words) to only use myself. I think it might implode and create a black whole if I let anyone else use it.

8. That little man got me to the top of the empire state building. It was two things. Beautiful and chilly.

9. Related to the little man above, but different. There is a skyride on the second floor of the empire state building, and this was my ticket. I was touched by many asians. They pushed. I pushed back.

10. The menus to a Macaroni and Cheese (S'mac) place, and a Burger and Cupcake shop (BuCu). Who could not leave pleased? And yes.....the trip was 50% about the food.

Summer Bunkin'

2011-05-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

We have downsized again. "Can you downsize from a hobbit apartment?," you say.

Yes. Yes you can.

Our home is now officially........

the bunk house.

A Paper Writing Experience

2011-04-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

...

to be continued......

also.

don't judge my hair.

and.
that is indeed a nun on a swing behind me.
I wish I was her right now.

Reason #443

2011-04-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

I love my husband because as we both sit here doing homework, me writing reflections for a teaching portfolio, and he taking a sociology 1010 exam, we both break out together as the song plays....

"When the fantasy has ended,

and all the children are gone,

something good inside me,

helps me to carry on.

To kiss your mouth, I break my vow

...no no no, no no no way jose!

Unless you want to,

then we break our vows together...

ENCARNACIOOOOHOONE! doodleedleoodleeee!"

We love Nacho...and his stretch pants.

and this is simply one of the most delightful things Google images has ever found for me.

*Update on life. I can update here because we were working on homework at the time I wrote this post.

I feel like this, and this, and this

Traditional Pre-Finals Week Post

2011-04-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Well Everyone

I might not make it.

I don't normally...

2011-04-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am not usually one to do these lists, but these are fun, and the adorable Sara Jolley AND Jenelyn Summers tagged me in them (Yeah I know Jen, yours was about a million years ago), so I will do it!

4 shows i watch
1. The Biggest Loser: I thought about getting fat to get on. I decided against it.
2. Dr. Who: I'm now in love with David Tennant.
3. Cranford: It was a mini-seriese. Best ever. Even better than 10th Kingdom, and that's sayin something!
4. What not to Wear: I am pretty sure it was Clinton who helped me first rid myself of being homophobic.

4 things i'm passionate about
1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
2. Chesley Eugene Lewis
3. Finishing School (YAY!)
4. Traveling. I could do it every day!

4 phrases i say alot
1. Like you could even know that: frequently said when husband makes a correct or more valid point that what I had just said.
2. It's my bed time. You wanna come sleep by me?: The answer is usually, "not right now. I'll come later" Pssssh. 9:00 is NOT too early.
3. I gotta go potty: Living with Jenelyn for two years, and then trying to increase the amount of water I take in has dramatically increased my bathroom visits.
4. I can't, I'm not eating sugar: this has been my most said sentence in the last three weeks. It is starting to kill me. I didn't realize how often I ate treats....before I stopped eating them! (don't be alarmed. This is not a permanent arrangement.)

4 things i've learned from the past
1. You absolutely CAN NOT form a correct opinion of a person the first, second, or even 10th time you meet them. If this was the case I would not have married my incredible husband.
2. Relying on the Lord is the only way to accomplish everything that comes all at once. Its incredible what you can do with His help.
3. Tithing is HUGE. Paying our tithing has helped us stay afloat when there was no logical reason we should have had enough.
4. lauging everyday is very very neccessary.

4 things i did yesterday
1. Closed my eyes while walking on campus to pretend I was still in Disneyland.
2. Ruined a dinner of Macoroni and Cheese ( it was almost as bad as the Yak Buttock)
3. Left a trail of Glitter everywhere I went
4. found a dead spider in the pot/pan drawer

4 places i would love to visit
1. The Carribean
2. Paris
3. Washington D.C.
4. Italy

4 things i'm looking forward to
1. my New York trip with the girls in June!
2. Graduating in December!
3. Husband finding a flight job
4. Getting my Holga pictures developed

4 things i love about spring
1. The sun on my face and neck
2. Shorts and flats
3. Ultimate frisbee games
4. Flowers and Green leaves on trees that have looked dead for months.

I'm not gonna tag anyone because......because.

A poem about a girl in pajamas

2011-03-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

The four letter words spilled
from her mouth like the vomit
of a three day fever.
They fell, boxed my hears,
and stayed there. buzzing.
biting, in my brain.

The Revamp

2011-03-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

From the longest I've had

I"m hard core huh.

To the shortest....

I want to do this every day

2011-03-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was having this problem. Every time I tried to study in the library,

it would result in sleep.

Well....one time my room mate caught me applying my anti-sleep-while-studying technique.

Yes, I AM listening to an ipod rather than flailing about in sync to silence.

oooooh. I like that. In sync to silence. I think I"ll use that for something serious and foreboding.....

I should know by now

2011-03-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Its snowing.

Fartfetnoogin.

Its the very 22nd of March.

Perhaps I shall go make snow sculptures in order to appreciate my surroudnings. I heard making snow toilets is fun. I should put it in the middle of campus. That way someone can stop if they are having a hard time making it to the next building.

But you know, grass and dirt would be good too.

But I'm not complaining of course.

Struggle

2011-03-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder what can possibly happen in the next few years. I get frustrated that there seems to be no anchor or stability in my life boat, and that I am just plowing forward into something I can not control or anticipate.

Even as blessed and marvelous as my life is, I become disappointed. Most often with myself. I am disappointed in my lack of will power. I am disappointed in my lack of courage in sharing my faith. I am disappointed in my inability to be a good wife to a husband who is adoring and patient. I am disappointed in my struggle to deal with new people in an un-awkward way. I am disappointed that I so often feel afraid. I don't like being afraid. It stinks.

This morning I desperately needed a lift to my spirit. My mind and heart felt heavy and uncomfortable. I remembered fireside I attended my second year of college that had affected me at a time I felt everything around me was punching me right in the face. I listened to that talk again this morning. I'm punching back again.

Jeffrey R. Holland has a way with words and with the spirit. It is a long video, almost an hour, but if any of you are struggling to find faith, peace, or just want to feel close to the spirit of God, take an hour and listen. (I did it while I cleaned my bathroom and folded my laundry. It helped me even through the chemical fumes :) )

If you want your life to feel a little bit more meaningful click here

Pants, Grumpy

2011-03-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

aka I have been a melancholy beastie the last few days, so Grumpy Pants has become my alter-ego name of choice. I feel about like this...

The helmet is obviously because I have been too grumpy to take time to make my hair presentable, so I used this as a more attractive alternative. Also, it makes people take my grumpiness more seriously because everyone is intimidated by people in football helmets. They can ALWAYS take you down.

I hope it goes away soon. It is hard to eat with this thing on.

Blainful

2011-03-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

This is paifull and blissfull put together.

It makes me so happy that I have been sitting here on our mini-couch next to husband for an hour, while he has been trying with all of his might to be the best darn ukelele player int he world. He sings with much soul.

His inability to consistently coordinate the key of the ukulele notes and those bellowing out of his pipes is quite painful to my sensitive ears.

#443 that I love him completely

He demanded that I not post videos of this, but I had too...
So I posted another one.....Oh how I adore him.

Bedtime Conversations: Part 2 (also a lesson on embracing uncontrolable sleeping habits)

2011-02-22T18:53:00.000-08:00

Me: Ches, we cant cuddle like this. My sleeping slobber will roll down the pillow hill into your eyes.

Husband: I don't like slobber rolling down the pillow hill into my eyes...hey...is that my favorite ninja turtle pillow case?!

Me:......I already slobbered on it last night

GOOBS: Then and Now

2011-02-12T17:17:00.000-08:00

I know I talk about my family all of the time because well, I happen to have a certain affection for them. I have been thinking about my brothers a lot lately, and how much things have changed in the last few years. So, I wanted you to see what I remember, and how they look now.

It goes from left to right.

Left: how I think of them.

Right: what they've had the audacity to become.

and also, they give me hope that I will have VERY adorable babies when the time comes.

Look at Shane. Holy Cow. I am pretty much surprised he can keep women off of him. I mean look at that adorable little blondie-boy. You are smarter than anyone in the family I think, except mom (hi mom). We all sit around laughing at how weird Dad's last burp was, and you can tell us what the president of Polar Plunge Club said in his public address yesterday. That is how I remember him, and now all of a sudden, he's grown up on me.

Kade Kade Kade. You and your swoopy hair. I almost have nothing else to say because you are so much like me that I feel like I'm talking about myself a little...besides the fact that you're 16, male, very tall, rather hairy, and have demented toes....I think that about covers our serious differences, or there are a lot more. You are more laid back than I ever thought you were going to be (I mean just consider those videos you made of yourself dancing to my piano practicing....how could THAT yeild normal results?!) You should stop using the word "poop" so much. Its icky.

Wyatt. There really is no way to describe you to people who have never encountered you before. Maybe I should post one of your photobooth videos sometime to fill people in on what is going on....we'll see. That is a risk. You are now the largest boy in the family at age 14. Stop it. Stop growing. Go back to that age when you used to put elastice around your ears and let it sqush you into a cabbage face.

It was supposed to stay like this.

(Wyatt your hairstyle has serious deteriorated since this photo.

Mine too, but that is beside the point. We should talk about it.)

But now everyone is all growd up.

When does it stop?

Husband's Entertainment Habbits

2011-02-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

Night #1

I was in the bedroom going to sleep. He was flipping through the channels and stopped on the History Channel (Go History Channel! You're the bomb!). They happen to be airing a Shirley Temple documentary. Thirty minutes later the channel has not changed, and he has not come to bed. When he finally crawls in I hear him say,
"She is so CUTE!"

Night #2

I have shut myself in the bedroom to do homework, so Husband can keep himself entertained with all of the space we have in the rest of the house. I open the door to get a drink, and he is at the sink, doing dishes, singing right along with the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. I give him a look. "What? It's a GOOD movie!" Hips are also in full swing.

Night #3

I am once again barricaded in the bedroom (the only other space we have besides the living area and the bedroom is the bathroom....the shower is a little too cramped to make it plausible to do homework in there), and I finish my task, open the door, and Husband is singing his heart out to his self created Katy Perry playlist.

He did kiss a girl, and he did like it.

I just thought everybody should know what he does with his free time.

Yesterday I

2011-01-25T20:57:00.000-08:00

mainly only did two noteworthy things.

#1

I finished Dr. Who season one, only to have to mourn the loss of Christopher Eccleson who has claimed my heart, and has found a permanent place on my list.

If you don't know what the list is, I will have to write a post about it, and then link it to this post for reader convenience.

#2

I almost burned down my home. While participating in the aforementioned activitiy, I was cooking a delicious dinner of cornbread and chili. I may or may not have forgotten to turn off the burner that so kindly and quickly heated up my chili, and I definitely left the oven mitt which helped me remove beautiful delicious golden brown corn bread from the very hott (you know, because there are to 't's) oven without burning my fingers........on top of said not turned off burner.

I also may have been SO distraced by the adorable large eared man, that I let my microwave cook for 4 minutes with nothing inside because I thought I had hit the timer button....I didn't notice the noise until it was in its last 20 seconds.

I didn't notice the smoke from the dying oven mit until 3/4 of it was literally turned to ash, and the smoke had made it above my head into the bathroom.

I think this is reason enough to have husband cook the meals from now on.

Don't you?

Neccessary Evils

2011-01-13T19:05:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things I avoid doing in public as part of my personal rules.

...sing with my ipod on, and my headphones in

...fall on either of my ends (face or derriere)

...have a booger

...toot *

...walk around boisterously talking about llamas and ardvarks.

Now. I have done, or am close to others who have done, all of these things. And as terrible as they all are, there is one activity worse than all of these, that all of us must do in a public setting.

Use the restroom.

I mean really, is there a more embarassing place than a public restroom? I despise them, yet in my current situation I use them 3-4 times daily. I was using one the other day, and I realized that (at least for women) we have quite the system of public bathroom etiquette.

I am not going to get into the endless rules about choosing stalls, what you do when you run out of tp (we've all been there right?), how you try not to look at eachother in the mirror while washing hands, not judging a stranger for checking out her backside in the mirror before she leaves (we all do it), no. I am going to address the cough-sniff.

I have only yet noticed two circumstances in which to use this tool.
The example below is adapted to only four stall or less bathrooms

One: When you entered the bathroom it was vacant, and you entered to take care of your needs. After you have finished your business, but before you've left the stall, another person enters. You must cough-sniff to let them know you are there, so they don't do anything embarrassing.

Two: You have finished washing your hands and are leaving the bathroom. You know there is only one other person in the bathroom, and they have been sitting in their stall with no noise for quite some time. You must cough-sniff as you leave so they know that you are departing, and they should hurry and get out all embarassing noises before the next woman enters the bathroom.

I was amazed at this system that I had been taking for granted for quite some time.

We have all also had that moment when some woman ignores this part of the bathroom code.

It's embarassing for all involved.

*This is the more refined way of refering to farting, and is part of the embarassing things that the cough-sniff help keep private.

Yay or Nay?

2011-01-08T08:39:00.001-08:00

How do we feel about the new look? Please comment and say yay or nay to it and give me a reason, so I can do it better next time!

p.s. I know this doesn't count as a real post. I am working on it.

Love,
me

45 minute drive

2011-01-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

To see a brief history, click HERE

And that....is all

I often forget

2010-12-24T07:55:00.000-08:00

That this is what Christmas is. This video brought me to tears this morning. I hope it can help you remember, as it did for me.

Merry Christmas.

May we always let him in, and let his love fill our hearts
when all the world offers is coldness.

There are more inspiring videos here

Wonder Sauna Hot Pants

2010-12-19T20:49:00.000-08:00

I am not usually so upfront in my post titles, but there is no way to embellish or help you anticipate what I stumbled upon during a recent cyberjaunt

I am fairly certain my life has changed.

This glorious item targets all of my problem areas. It says I can slenderize anywhere I want....

I wonder if it will work on my arm flaps...?

Probably. I mean, it does have a very official looking crest telling me this product is approved by the AAU.

I may not know what that means, but this box also promises that I will look better-feel better- and that it will wake up my body.

It also holds the promise, "easy to inflate"

So if nothing else, if Ches and I ever have twins, we can just use it for a dual floaty device when we need that outing to the local pool.

Win Win.

I told you it was true

2010-12-12T21:16:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer. I know it is cluttered. You try putting all of you stuff in a smurf sized hole.

Here they are at last. The pictures of the hobbit hole.

Okay. I know this first picture gives you no view of my apartment aside from my mismatched socks, but look at this rug my mother-in-law made for me! Isn't it fabulous!

I am standing in the middle of the living room, and this is my kitchen. It is the perfect size considering the amount of cooking I do...not much.

I am standing almost against the cabinets in the kitchen, and this is the living room. You might note the two hobbit size doors on the right side. Two of the three.

This is the door to the bedroom. Go up those little stairs, open the door, and you find....

A hobbit! Cough...I mean, Husband!

He happens to be putting up Christmas lights for me at this moment.

Here I am sitting on my bed. Note how close the ceiling is. I have tried to stand up in fits of excitement, and been promptly shoved to the floor when the ceiling punched me in the head.

This is our little dresser. Three drawers wide, and two high (just so you know the word drawer is hard for me. I always want to put droor).

I had to leave the room, and stand on the stairs in order to get the whole bed in the frame. It is a king size, which we don't need because we both sleep right in the middle most of the time anyway. Ches sleeps in the pillow crack (I know right?). He says it is because it is closest to me. Cue Awwwwws.

The ties nearly reach from the ceiling to the floor. These are THE ties. The wonderfully hideous collection of nothing but polyester. Husband is quite a snob actually. He won't wear silk, and it can be no less than 4 inches wide. Yes, he does wear the clip ons. Note here.

A cute little bookshelf I keep by my bed. I wish there were more coins in my little green piggy bank. Then I could go buy an ice cream cone....and eat it.

My favorite part is probably how our pile of laundry mounds from floor to ceiling. I am pretty sure some stuff lives in there, like gnomes and their pet spiders. It only takes a week to cover up that little love sign you see in the distance. We can't have our love covered up by dirty clothes now can we? Sigh.

Bedtime Conversations

2010-12-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

Me:(singing heartily) "Who wants a twig when you can have the whoooooooooooooole treeeeeee?" (obviously an exerpt from the fabulous show Hairspray) ....Ches....I'm the whole tree!

Ches: No you're not.

Me: Well, I'm not a twig...

Ches: You're more of a weight bearing branch.

pause....

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Backwards

2010-11-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

I have complained muchly that husband and my first year of marriage is documented by a depressingly small number of photographs. My camera is cheap, and takes soooper low quality pictures. His camera does not respond when you push its buttons.

Happy Anniversary to me! Husband went and bought me a camera. Let the documentation of our very weird lives begin.

(I HAD to take the picture of the camera with photobooth...I couldn't quite figure out how to make it take a picture of itself...)

Fuzzy Back Teeth

2010-11-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

Just about every night about the time that I a quickly fading away into a drool on my pillow state, I decide I should wash my face and brush my teeth, so as to hygienate myself in an appropriate manner (do you like my new word?).

A least every other night I ask husband if he wants to brush my teeth for me.

He has always politely declined. I always have the most polite reply of sticking my tongue out at him.

Last night the routine, and I dare say my life, changed.

He was brushing his teeth, and I said, "Can I help you?" and he said..nod nod. So I got off the couch, and proceeded to brush my husbands teeth. Getting my fat hands in that little mouth was a little difficult. I think next time I will have him sit on a stool because I will be able to reach the back better.

Then....

I put toothpaste on my beautiful green toothbrush, handed it to him, opened my very large pie-hole, and....HE BRUSHED MY VERY OWN TEETH! He missed the back completely, so I had to fix it for him, but I hurried and fixed it while he wasn't looking....well he was looking, but I couldn't have fuzzy back teeth in the morning.

I quickly became glad that we live in a basement apartment where no one walks by our one window. How odd would it bee to walk by a window, look in, and see two grown people brushing eachother's teeth. Not odd, I argue, INSPIRING.

We Believe

2010-11-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

This woman is fantastic.

The End.

An Ode to Marshmallow Martyrdom

2010-11-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

Do you know what this is?

This is my, "I loooooooooooooooooove Christmas time" mug.

My "I think all of the Thanksgiving Nazi's should be forced to wear Santa Suits" mug

My "It is now time to commence the constant playing of Celtic renditions of magical classical Christmas Songs" mug

My "I need to splurge on boots and festive scarves" mug

My "I should wear jingle bell earings, but only for one day because after that it is irritating" mug

My "Ouch this hot chocolate burns, and I remember that I don't really love hot chocolate mug"

Sigh.

Bring on the Holidays

Nobody knew

2010-11-04T14:05:00.001-07:00

Nobody knew what I was....can you guess?
I mean besides completely adorable, pigeon toes and all...
.......
I am a high fashion Keebler Elf of course! It's the striped cardigan. It makes me edgy.

Nobody knows why.
Not even me. I kept my eyes closed....
But I think this....is what he was going for

I am still having nightmares.....

Hobbits

2010-10-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

Are curious creatures, and I am beginning to understand how they feel in their manner of living. That would be because, I am indeed, living in a hobbit house (that sort of roles off of the tongue doesn't it?)

Husband and I recently moved into a rather small apartment. Although Chesley has been know to be compared to hobbits (if you have not seen this reference click here) I had never really fostered my desire to live like them. I am now regretting that negligence.

Someday I will tell my children,"Your father and I once lived in an apartment with three little hobbit doors, and a little hobbit bedroom where we could only kneel on our knees because...well, although we have done many amazing and spectacularly adventurous things that we can only tell you about in stories because it all happened before you came along, we have never been hobbits!" And they will pelt us with questions about this amazing time in our lives, and ask us to tell them the story again and again.

And we will. It will always begin like this....

Your father and I once lived in an apartment with three little hobbit doors.....

Dining with the Donovans at Christmas time...

2010-10-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

The broccoli cheese chicken soup sits sputtering happily on the stove. Taquitos, chicken nuggets, and other various foods of frozen goodness start to sizzle on the pan in the oven. The cheese ball of amazingness has been purchased from Kent’s Supermarket because everyone knows that their green onion cheese ball blows all other cheese-balls away. This is the tornado of cheese-balls. Assorted crackers have been beautifully arranged on the very old and underused cracker platter. They look so much more appetizing in a pretty circle than they do coming out of the box.

Mom moves the soup to a hot pad on the table. I have already laid out bowls and spoons, and my stomach gnomes are starting to vehemently protest the fact that they have been neglected for hours now. Family comes. Family sits. We bless the food.

It is as if the next three seconds are three minutes. My little brother sees the bowl in front of his place at the table. He looks at the spoon. He raises his head to the pot of soup sitting innocently next to my mother.

Kade: “NO!”
Mom: “Uh….is there are problem son?”
Kade: “You’ve ruined EVERYTHING! It is CHRISTMAS EVE! We can’t eat soup! It isn’t finger food! How could you ruin our tradition like that!
Mom: “So don’t eat it.”

Kade stares at his plate, and eats only with his fingers. He keeps a frown on his face, and doesn't raise his head. He is showing his extreme disgust at all of our willingness to forsake our traditions without a second thought

I try to make the situation seem less tragic to him by explaining that it could indeed be counted as finger-food because you do, in fact, hold the spoon with your fingers, but alas, it gave him zilcho, zip, nada, yes , zero comfort.

Traditions have been rudely disregarded, and the day has been ruined for him....Until we get out treats, and his smile slowly returns. Then somebody farts and his brothers and father burst into laughter, while Kim and I try not to laugh, but fail as the laugh bubbles find their way out of our throats, and mom is says something about having grown up in a high class family.

Composure....yeah. I have that.

2010-10-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

9:24 am: I walk innocently and intently toward the Library at Logan High School to meet with my professor concerning my Teaching English Methods class. The floor is slick. The bottom of my right shoe is slick. It is a good thing I am flexible. I am pretty sure those high school students were really amazed to see a teacher doing the splits in the hallway laughing hysterically. I did not appear insane at all.

11:24 am: I walk into the Taggart Student Center listening in a very concentrated way to how one of my heels clicks on a distinctly different tone than the other one does. I open the door to the employee entrance of the bookstore forgetting the slippery nature of my right shoe's belly. I do a slick little dance with a grand wave of my arms for those, my comrades, in the hallway.

11:29 am: I hold a bowl of steaming chicken fried rice in one hand, and walk heavily to my office. The cement floors should be safe and not slippery. I reach to open the door and my mischievous little shoe slips and I see all of my rice fly up into the air. Luckily, my much more reliable and highly favored left shoe kept me on course, and I caught all the rice again in the bowl in an extremely ninja like fashion.

Needless to say my good left shoe walked the rest of the day heel toe heel toe proudly and sturdily. My right, rather naughty shoe was punished with heelTOE heelTOE heelTOE. I may or may not have received pitiful looks from passersby pitying the fact that I clearly have one leg shorter than the other, but I am pretty sure that darn dirty shoe learned its lesson.

Letters

2010-09-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Hannah and Lacy

Thank you for letting me copy you. I like you.

Dear Bangs
Please stop blowing apart in the middle so that I look like I have drawn back curtain on my face.

Dear Gym
Will you stop being so unappealing please? Right now the couch is totally beating you.

Dear Favorite Yellow Shoes
I am sorry I had to leave you outside. If you had been more conducive to sock-wearing I might be able to keep you in my closet.

Dear Internet
You should reach just a tiny bit farther into my front room, so I can preserve my toosh from this unfriendly cement slab that is my front step.

Dear Pinky Toe
I am so sorry that half of your nail came off. The edge of that couch was closer than I calculated.

Dear Sunshine on My Face
You feel nice.

Dear Freezer
I am so glad that you are holding some pecan caramel ice cream for me. How nice.

Dear Chenyl and Mark Sam
I miss you. But mostly Chenyl. But I guess Mark Sam too....

because although I don't particularly miss this....

I miss this

And this.....VERY much

Dear Helicopter
Please be good while husband is flying you. I am rather fond of him, and would like him to be around long enough to see me become a good cook, so...a long time. And besides...

He's so....spectacular

My Sugar Free Day

2010-09-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

Oh, those tootie fruties are so small that it doesn't even count as sugar

...even after I've eaten 43 of them.

Its my BIRTHDAY cake. I HAVE to finish it. It really doesn't count against my sugar points because it was for my birthday. You can't gain pounds or inches from something that came from your birthday. It would be immoral.

That last nectarine really needed to be slathered in whipped cream while I ate it. It was a little mushy, plus the positive fruit-ness of the nectarine TOTALLY canceled out the sweet in the whipped cream. It's practically all air anyway. All the substance came from the fruit.

I clearly needed the fruit to counteract the cheese that was in my quesadilla , and I really couldn't have eaten the fruit alone because it was mushy, so really.... the whipped cream was completely necessary.

....maybe I'll do better tomorrow

This is a fear causer that frequents my life

2010-08-28T17:21:00.001-07:00

I know, KNOW, and am certain, positive and certain that if I use the handicap stall in the bathroom, a person in a wheelchair is going to come in, have to go super bad, and not have anywhere to go because I am manning the stall. They will sit there, and when I walk out they will stare at me, then look at all the other empty regular stalls, and look back and forth and back and forth, getting angrier and angrier (meanwhile I just stand there with an awkward look on my face, really just concentrating on trying to remember if I zipped up my fly), and then they will yell at me about how insensitive I am, and proceed to beat me with a cane.

I honestly have this visual every time I consider using the handicap stall, whether it be because the others are taken, or because their previous occupants forgot to do jumping jacks in the stall before they left to trigger the motion sensor flusher thingies.

So I wait, or flush first.

Then, during my stay in my stall, I ALWAYS contemplate the fact that people in wheel chairs do not in fact carry canes.

Everything Smells....no really, it does.

2010-08-18T17:19:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed that your cousins family has their own smell? And that cousin smells different from the other cousin on the same side, but also different from the cousin on the other side. Grandparents have their own smell too.

Schools have a learning smell.

Stores have a new smell.

My church has that old churchy smell, like the gym floor has been varnished over and over and over and over.

I always wondered what my families smell was when I was growing up, but of course it is my own smell, so I couldn't ever smell it. It drove me nuts. So I stuck my nose deep into one of the clean sheets that had been sitting in the sheet cubby for a while now, and after consulting with a cousin, decided that must be my families smell. Not too bad.

Fall has a crispy smell.

Spring smells wet.

I have never smelled winter because every time I try, it just freezes my snot up into my brain. I stopped trying that one after a while.

The beginning of my marriage smells like varnished wood.

Cows smell like home.

Mosquito spray smells like relief.

A swimming pool smells like hot.

Reason for this post.....big news.....
Kimee says Ches and I already have our smell! She says it is good :) I don't think our sheets have been in the closet long enough for me to know what it is yet...

Jelly Beans

2010-07-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Usually almost always consistently just about at least once a day I get to feel like this

What does this feel like you ask? I will tell you.

Like I am the most delicious, hilarious, wonderful, beautiful, desirable, spontaneous, voluptuous woman in the entire world.

All of those are good things.

I am SO lucky that even if it is for 5 seconds, husband makes me feel like this at least once every day.

If your husband doesn't do this, sick a jelly bean up his nose. (Mike N' Ike's work as a decent substitute).

Denial

2010-07-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have been in a state of denial for the past 3 or 4 weeks. I told myself EVERY time I put on my shorts or jeans that they were tight because they must have just come out of the wash. I told myself that I wasn't eating THAT much sugar. I looked in the mirror and sucked in just enough to make the roll that has appeared around my middle to disappear long enough for me to forget its there before I leave the mirror....

But I jumped on the scale today. I have gained some marriage weight. I almost decided to have a breakdown, but then decided that would be rather dumb and dramatic. I like the decision.

However, I need to do something about it now. I don't like how I feel. I don't like that I weigh quite a bit more than my husband. I don't like that I don't feel pretty standing next to him.

So instead of whining, I am going to do something about it. I am going to give up the sugar that I love so much (The Otter Pops will be rationed to 1 or 2 a day. I just CAN'T give those up completely). I am going to start a routine of exercising. I am hoping to put a schedule together alternating yoga and running. I am going to drink many waters.

But most of all

I am not going to let 20 pounds get the better of my self esteem, and I am NOT going to let those pounds be the boss of me. I am the boss, and they are getting the boot.

Otter Pops. Sigh.

2010-07-12T14:51:00.001-07:00

Last summer I wrote a post about Otter Pops,....

and then yesterday I ate twelve of them. TWELVE! I can't HELP myself.

They never make me sick, and they NEVER stop tasting delicious and feeling refreshing!

I am worried that this addiction that I have is what will send me spiraling down to the fiery depths of Hades realm for actively and willing participating in one of the seven deadly sins. GLUTTONY.

But even the prospect of that will not stop me because well.....it's really HOT down there, and even thinking about it makes my legs grow a mind of their own and walk straight to the freezer.

...THEN I have to throw my wrapper away, and the freezer is conveniently located just an arms length away from the garbage can. It's called feng shui people!

They EVEN crept into my engagement pictures!

* Three Otter Pops were consumed during the writing of this post. A Pink one, Blue one, and a green one. However, no otters were harmed in the making of this production.

Um.....not

2010-07-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

This will be a short post, but it is long overdue.

Husband and I have been married for about 7 months. I swear, if one more person asks me when I am going to have a baby....

Or exclaims that I am probably pregnant when I feel the slightest bit less than 100%

I might....implode.

I truly do want children. I anticipate motherhood as the most glorious thing I will do. But really.

I do feel slightly guilty when my mother-in-law starts talking about how badly she wants grandchildren....Or when my own wonderful father talks about how awesome he will be as a grandfather.....poop.

Sorry. I'm not pregnant.

No Sidewalks

2010-06-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

I have always had this thing for poetry. I love to read it, and I love write what I can. I am going to start posting a poem every once in a while. Here is my first attempt.

I grew up in a small town, a town with no sidewalks. I once had a friend who told me he never wanted to live in a place that was big enough to have paved sidewalks. "That's when people stop waving to eachother when they drive by," he said. It made me stop and think about what I love about living in a rural place, and this poem came out of it. It has a lot of revision to go, and I would love input from all of you.

No Sidewalks

I live in a town with no sidewalks,
And my bones have grown there as the trees.
There is a road that wobbles and winds
And stretches into infinite distance.
My feet have never found its end.

I walk on the road where broken
Asphalt meets weed; I can see
Mountain to mountain to mountain
To sky. A cradle of dirt and rock
Open up to bright swaggering blue.

I stop on the road to let a
Gurgling stream greet my thoughts. I lay
to look out of the mouth of the cradle.
On the horizon, cows and grass give
Way to pavement and glass.

The sky strains too heavy
With smearing, fading smog.
It rolls closer to my road
Every year. Closer
to my road, and my Feet.

Smog, sidewalks, and lifeless steel.

I. Love. Thunder.

2010-06-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

and so these huge and dark thunder clouds pleased me greatly. Don't mind my grotesque face, and awkwardly stanced body. And also please disregard the fact that Ashley is enviably tan and adorable. We were the only people for miles, and these huge clouds were rolling in, and we were jumping off of pumice mountains. It was one of the best days ever of all time.

There is just something soul stirring about being in the open where there are no people, and heaven seems to reach down and tell you it is there. This was one of those days.

Awesome

2010-06-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

I may or may not have blinded my brother-in-law's left eye with one of these last night. The dart that hit the aforementioned eyeball may or may not have been tipped with Velcro. The battle may or may not have gone on between four grown people for more than an hour. There may or may not be darts lost in every open crevice of my and husbands apartment. I may or may not wish I was 7 years old so I could carry one of these around in a holster at all times.

The Weekend

2010-06-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

that was really five days, so it was more of a week...but that's beside the point. My kick butt weekend started on Thursday night, and when clear to Tuesday night. I did many marvelous things, but two of them are epic, and possibly life changing.

#1 I got a new brother! He is the second handsome one on the left of the most handsome one, and on the right of the one that is in the awkward stage of life, but will one day grow to handsomeness like his brothers. (Love you Tanner) Good thing Abbie and I finish of the ends to make the family look REALLY good.

He came home from a mission in Africa, which is why I am disappointed in his lack of tan. Isn't it sunny there? And also, I was not impressed when he shoved a ketchup laden corn dog, that I happened to be enjoying, forcefully into the right side of my face, therefore making me a ketchup face.

But I am so nice that I really liked him anyway. Plus I beat him soundly in all attempted video games, so he's pretty cool.

#2 I also drew a mustache on a stick with antlers out of sidewalk chalk, and was not smart enough to know how to flip the picture the right direction without my beautiful macbook. This is by far the most epic moment of my weekend...maybe my fortnight.

ciao.
karlie jean

When I walk home

2010-06-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

I see this
and this

And when I walk up on cold days....
I look like this

Good thing the summer makes it worth the frigid winter. I think I'll go get a slurpee.

Remembering

2010-06-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

The word remember is one that has great significance to me in my life for different reasons, but today I want to write about remembering people.

Yesterday was memorial day. Death is not something that I have had a lot of experience dealing with on a directly personal level. Only once. Only when my young grandpa of 65 died suddenly while at work doing a remodel of an old house. I remember the disbelief, and the denial, until I remembered that families are eternal, and we are all bound together, and the separation is temporary. It gave me such peace. I don't think any other knowledge would make watching my sweet grandmother on her lonely days bearable.

I have seen several good friends deal with death at an even closer proximity. Three of my best friends in the worlds have lost parents. Two to cancer, and one to a horrible accident. These three friends dealt with it in such an incredible way. They clung to the knowledge of the Gospel, and the fact that the rest of the time in this life without them will be less than a pinprick in the line of eternity.

I have often wondered what death would feel like without this knowledge. What if I had to question whether or not I would see my precious family again? My mind doesn't wrap around it. Every feeling in my body rejects the very thought or possibility. The pain is enough with the truth. I can truly understand people who never fully recover emotionally who don't know it. I can not express the gratitude I feel for my faith, and the knowledge it brings of eternal families. I need that eternity. I have a husband that I need to spend an eternity loving and knowing. A lifetime does not yield enough time to know a person completely.

So Grandpa, today I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about how on that last day I saw you, you woke me from my nap with one of my favorite whisker kisses. I remember your flannel shirts, and your hats that barely sat on your head. I remember how you could never tell a satisfactory joke because you would start laughing so hard before the punch line that you couldn't finish it. I remember everything. I love you. I will see you soon.
karlie jean

More often than not sometimes I....

2010-05-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Get back in bed with husband after my morning run instead of doing my crunches, stretches, and push-ups

Think that person riding their bike up the hill in my direction has two heads, until they pass me and I realize it was their backpack protruding from behind their real head.

Tell myself I will only eat one Popsicle, then proceed to eat two or three, and not even feel guilty about it.

I have cravings to eat out, and I know we shouldn't because money is tight, but somehow I make myself think we'll be fine, so go out we do.

I pretend to be grown up when I don't feel good, but in all reality I just want my mom (sorry husband).

I say I am going to be a good wife and cook good meals, but when I get home from campus after 9-10 hours, baked potatoes or frozen burritos via the microwave are as gourmet as I'm gonna get.

I want my life to seem as cool as hers or maybe hers, but then I remember that mine is already the bomb.

Sometimes

2010-05-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes wife actually tries to cook dinner for husband, and sometimes it happens to be that she has enough ground beef to cook both sloppy joe AND taco meat. Sometimes she decides that they will eat the sloppy joes tonight, and save the taco meat for tomorrow. Sometimes wife sends husband to the store to get potatoes so they can have homemade fries with the aforementioned sloppy joe sandwiches of joy, and he is quick and compliant. Sometimes when wife does this she bites into her carefully and lovingly prepared sloppy joe, only to find that the meat is freezer burned and tastes of yak buttock. So sometimes wife doesn't finish her sandwich, and eats a half a bag of frozen corn instead. Usually husband doesn't even notice the icky taste, so he eats all of his sandwiches anyway. Sometimes wife wonders if he eats this ground yak posterior only to make her feel better. Wife throws away the meat. Wife does the dishes. Wife is very glad husband also bought ice cream at the grocery store, so they can have butterfinger shakes after he is done at helicopter school.

Yeah. Try to make THAT sound appetizing.
Its impossible.

Beauty. So far to go.

2010-05-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

My life changed a minute ago. I simply clicked here.

Watch how her husband treats her. How he holds her hand, and keeps his arms around her. One of the reasons this hit me so hard, and made me emotional, was because I have a man who loves me to that same degree, and who would do no less than stand by my side through anything. I want to have the courage of this woman so I can be worthy of the love that I receive so much of. What if I lost my pretty face? It wouldn't matter to him, and we could still accomplish incredible things, but would I be able to just move on? Am I too concerned with what the facade looks like?

I am. I want to change that.

I know that my Father in Heaven and my Redeemer are my reason for living. Jesus Christ lives, and is real. Sometimes I let myself get distracted from my purpose by things that are SO unimportant. Sometimes I get distracted from being kind to someone because I am too concerned about the way they speak, or look, or carry themselves. Sometimes I forget to treat people like they are children of God because they happen to be wearing something less fashionable than me , or they don't have my sense of humor, or they need to wash their hair.

What a waist of the breath that has been lent to me to accomplish good.
What abuse of the trust that has been placed on me in representing my faith and my God.
What missed opportunities to know people for what they are BEYOND their appearance.
What a disappointment I must have been at times. I don't want to disappoint Him anymore.

Copy Cat: Then and Now

2010-04-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

My fantastic friend Amanda wrote an inspiring post on the journey she and her husband have had together. I am totally stealing this from her. Chesley and I did not meet when we were young teenagers, having hand holding sessions on choir trip buses, but I think we have come a long way regardless.

Then...I thought you were stuck up, and had no desire to talk to you
Now... I think you are the funniest person in the world, and I make you turn the radio off in the car just so we can talk.

Then...I reluctantly went out with you. I tried to unload you on a friend.
Now....I gleefully go anywhere and everywhere with you, and feel rather smug when I notice other women noticing how handsome you are.

Then...I compared you to other men I knew and respected.
Now....I compare everyone to you. No one measures up. You're so weird. It's awesome.

Then...I had a little crush on you, and when you held my hand it made me blush.
Now....I am am pretty much in love with you, and live with constant blushing.

Then...you did things like take me off roading, and show off your frisbee skills to impress me.
Now...all you have to do to impress me is do the laundry. I've been permanently impressed.

Then...I would stay up until 1:00 a.m. so I could see you for five minutes after you got off of work
Now...I got to bed at 10:30 p.m. so the time will go faster, and you can kiss on the temple when you crawl into bed.

Then...I had to pray about you every night. Such anxiety in the decision.
Now...I pray with you every night, and it is much more anxiety free.

Then...I had no idea what was coming.
Now....I still don't, but you're coming, so it'll be neat

We are sorry...

2010-04-28T14:13:00.001-07:00

we are going through some major cosmetic difficulties at this time. Please stay with us.
Sincerely,
Dufi

Fingers

2010-04-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

It is absolutely heavenly outside. I'm actually there now. Outside. The sun is soaking in to my sadly pale, and shaved too long ago legs. Mmmmmmm. I have really learned to be thankful for the cold, miserable winter months, because they make days like this so much better. Just think, if the weather was a perfect 74 degrees, with the most delectable amount of breeze everyday, I would not appreciate it, and would expect it. That would be stupid. I can now officially begin my quest for killer good ring tan lines. I figure that since I've married since last tanning season, this lifelong dream may actually be realized. I was never a diligent enough ring-bearer before to gain the coveted white wrings in the middle of a pleasently darkened finger.

I want

2010-04-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

A Pinata
(I don't know how to do the squiggle thing above the n)

That is all. End.

Why?

2010-04-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

I have shared these photographs with a few, close, kindred spirits. I feel their impact needs to be conveyed to a wider audience.

I opened my car door, eager to enter Deseret Industries, and partake of all that awaited me there. This is what met my gaze, and stopped me in the middle of my thoughts concerning old lady dresses, and skinny suspenders.

I turned in horror, trying to find the former peace of mind I had been enjoying, when I saw the final piece placed under the wheel of the car parked ahead of us.

I was shocked, horrified, and was forced to mourn for this poor, little, smiling, decapitated boy in his disassemblation and soiled liederhaussen.

I win.

2010-04-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

I win the argument that all girls have about their dad being the best. Well, sorry. I won a long time ago. My daddy tops the cake of dads....that would have to be a HUGE cake.

These are the main men in my life. My dad (although the 13 year old is closing in) is the tallest and most strongest of all the men in my life.

He is the source of all weirdness, goofiness, and off the wall-ness that exists in my person. He would deny it when I wear my black glasses that have no lenses, but it all comes fr0m him.

He is the source of my skill for making paper people. This is his construction paper self portrait. See my feeble attempts to match him here and here.

Lets be honest. He is the funniest, kindest, biggest calf muscled, Irish jigging, riverdancing, fartfatnooging, bestedest dad ever.

RUSH!!!!

2010-03-31T19:35:00.000-07:00

Welcome Rush in EAB. This is the chaos we lived in, cried in , and loved in.

This is our shipping area. There is usually someone there for 10 or 12 hours.

We pretty much made a maze with carts full of books. We became the smart maze rats.
I'm not sure what that means

Caleb always goes out of his way to help customers. Really, one time he met a customer at Wal-mart to get him his book order because the store was closed. Too much customer service.

Whitney Fae working away.
heh. That rhymes. smile

Lacy should definitely be a head-set model.

Bobbi did this same pose several times for the camera. We definitely know how she felt.

These two are the Asians. They make an entire Asian. Neat.
(sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters)

Hannah and I had a hard time coordinating which face we were supposed to be making.

Maybe next time.

We've all gone crazy.

But we like each others company.